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Sandy Berger is covering his ass.

10. "It was a cold day."

9. "There was a stiff wind."

8. "I had forgotten my overcoat."

7. "My pants were thin and threadbare."

6. "My mother doesn't let me go out without paper."

5. "I missed my morning paper at the newsstand today."

4. "Not having my glasses, I thought it said "Top-Scenic."

3. "I was auditioning for the John Deutch part in a future SNL skit."

2. "I was auditioning for the Fawn Hall part in a future SNL skit."

1. "I was auditioning for the Martha Stewart part in a future SNL skit."