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I am definitely a member of the "If they had them they would have already used them" club.

Right, just like they hit us with one jetliner at a time. As soon as they'd get enough of a cell in the USA to take over the plane -- with one jihaddiboy fresh out of flight school -- they'd lob a Boeing at a building.

No reason for them to wait until they had everything in place for a massive coordinated attack, and then hit us with everything all at once. That's why the 9/11 attacks took four months, with the last plane smashing into the Pentagon in January 11th of '02.

Right?

Oops.

Oh, right. I forgot. That was just a coincidence, that business about all those planes hitting us on the morning of 09/11/01. It's not like they planned it like that. It just happened that that's when they managed to get all their teams ready. Just a big coincidence, that's all. I mean, when they had each team ready, they used it. No way would they sit on a team, waiting for the rest of the teams to get in country, prepared, settled in, and so forth. Right?

And another thing. That whole business about Al Quaida's habitual fixation on multiple coordinated attacks is just an old wives tail. An urban legend.

The fact that all of their known attacks have taken that form is just a coincidence. It means nothing. Only a paranoid conspiracy theorist would try to pretend there's a pattern to their MO.

Oh, one other thing: they're not patient, either. All that talk about how they're so f'n patient, willing to wait years to "finish what they started, until all the pieces are finally in place?

Yup, you guessed it. It's another urban legend.

So get back to the toob already. Game's on, beer's cold. Don't fret your purdy l'il head about this silly nonsense. There's important stuff going on in this country. Scott. Lacy. Kobe. And that guy who didn't really go to med school. Yeah, that's the ticket. Stick with the important stuff. Anything you really need to know about you'll find on tabloid teevee.

Hey, don't take my word for it. Ask Greta!