Here's someone from mythology/art of which I'm reminded:
Posted on 07/18/2004 11:39:14 AM PDT by dennisw
July 18, 2004 LIVES When One Is Enough By AMY RICHARDS as told to AMY BARRETT
I grew up in a working-class family in Pennsylvania not knowing my father. I have never missed not having him. I firmly believe that, but for much of my life I felt that what I probably would have gained was economic security and with that societal security. Growing up with a single mother, I was always buying into the myth that I was going to be seduced in the back of a pickup truck and become pregnant when I was 16. I had friends when I was in school who were helping to rear nieces and nephews, because their siblings, who were not much older, were having babies. I had friends from all over the class spectrum: I saw the nieces and nephews on the one hand and country-club memberships and station wagons on the other. I felt I was in the middle. I had this fear: What would it take for me to just slip?
Now I'm 34. My boyfriend, Peter, and I have been together three years. I'm old enough to presume that I wasn't going to have an easy time becoming pregnant. I was tired of being on the pill, because it made me moody. Before I went off it, Peter and I talked about what would happen if I became pregnant, and we both agreed that we would have the child.
I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?
I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more.
Having felt physically fine up to this point, I got on the subway afterward, and all of a sudden, I felt ill. I didn't want to eat anything. What I was going through seemed like a very unnatural experience. On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it.
The specialist called me back at 10 p.m. I had just finished watching a Boston Pops concert at Symphony Hall. As everybody burst into applause, I watched my cellphone vibrating, grabbed it and ran into the lobby. He told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor's perspective, it's a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma. After I talked to the specialist, I told Peter, ''That's what I'm going to do.'' He replied, ''What we're going to do.'' He respected what I was going through, but at a certain point, he felt that this was a decision we were making. I agreed.
When we saw the specialist, we found out that I was carrying identical twins and a stand alone. My doctors thought the stand alone was three days older. There was something psychologically comforting about that, since I wanted to have just one. Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear. The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.
Two days after the procedure, smells no longer set me off and I no longer wanted to eat nothing but sour-apple gum. I went on to have a pretty seamless pregnancy. But I had a recurring feeling that this was going to come back and haunt me. Was I going to have a stillbirth or miscarry late in my pregnancy?
I had a boy, and everything is fine. But thinking about becoming pregnant again is terrifying. Am I going to have quintuplets? I would do the same thing if I had triplets again, but if I had twins, I would probably have twins. Then again, I don't know.
And that guy Peter--what a Pontius Pilate. "Shouldn't we consider having triplets?" "Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear." But legally, what could he have done to protect his children? Nothing.
Here's someone from mythology/art of which I'm reminded:
Monstrous. Imagine explaining to the child later in life how the parents eliminated the siblings.
How terribly appropriate.
...the movie showed a woman in anguish forced to give up one child to save the other....
...so much anguish she couldn't live with herself....
..and this .....this....sorry excuse for a woman, nonchalantly selects her twins to be killed, and considers herself lucky.
sheeesh!
Well sh*t. Why does this woman even want ONE child? For all the money she probably spent being on the pill all those years, she could have had her tubes tied and avoided all this "trauma".
Idiots like her don't want to have families; they want to accessorize. She needs to go buy a funky handbag instead.
This sounds just like tapes that police officers make of someone before they arrest them for attempting to hire a hit man.
I think I'm going to go hug my kids and buy a large jar of mayonnaise.
Agree.
Hey, how about we find out where she lives and send her some! She'll never have to worry about mayonnaise again!
This gal is the ultimate anti-Laura. As I recall, Laura Bush was on bed rest for quite some time to ensure a healthy birth for Barbara and Jenna.
Well, let me tell you, anything she's doing, I'm doing the opposite. No more Boston Pops for me.
When society has devolved to the point that murdering babies is viewed with the same blase attitude that accompanies changing hairstyles, we are in real peril. This woman is obviously devoid of any real understanding of what she is doing.
The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.
What should be offensive to this man is that two of his children are being murdered. Once someone has agreed to the murder of his child, his presence at the slaughter is irrelevant.
I grew up on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, later called the East Village. I was poor and I hated it.
I also lived on Staten Island for a while, which is far from the stereotypical suburbia she imagines. I was poor then too, but I was making a living and I worked in Manhattan. And it isn't pickup truck country either, it's New York City.
She should have stayed on the pill. Even one kid will be too much of a strain when he stops being cute.
Absolutely. What she has may be contagious.
BTW, welcome to FR!
The mind boggles.
There's so much I could say about this, it's easier not to say anything. Wow.
At Judgment:
"Oh no no no, God! You see, I would have had to shop only at Costco and buy big jars of mayonnaise!"
Let's pray for the child left behind.
Yeah, good points. He was "offended." Omg, that's a far cry from being KILLED. She was "moody." She had an "adverse reaction." What spoiled rotten brats.
She sounds perfectly reasonable to me. She can't care for three by herself and she knew her body couldn't handle three either. What if her boyfriend takes off after she had the three because it was too much stress or worse dies. He obviously didn't want to put her worries at ease with marriage or at least guarantee financial security just in case something happens. It happens all the time and she would have to do it all on her own. She only wanted one baby because that's all she could handle. Why would you purposefully create three babies when you only want one?
Oh wait -- that would be cruelty to animals. Perhaps the minds of the left will someday reach a point where a baby is afforded the same level of compassion as a rodent.
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