Posted on 07/18/2004 11:39:14 AM PDT by dennisw
July 18, 2004 LIVES When One Is Enough By AMY RICHARDS as told to AMY BARRETT
I grew up in a working-class family in Pennsylvania not knowing my father. I have never missed not having him. I firmly believe that, but for much of my life I felt that what I probably would have gained was economic security and with that societal security. Growing up with a single mother, I was always buying into the myth that I was going to be seduced in the back of a pickup truck and become pregnant when I was 16. I had friends when I was in school who were helping to rear nieces and nephews, because their siblings, who were not much older, were having babies. I had friends from all over the class spectrum: I saw the nieces and nephews on the one hand and country-club memberships and station wagons on the other. I felt I was in the middle. I had this fear: What would it take for me to just slip?
Now I'm 34. My boyfriend, Peter, and I have been together three years. I'm old enough to presume that I wasn't going to have an easy time becoming pregnant. I was tired of being on the pill, because it made me moody. Before I went off it, Peter and I talked about what would happen if I became pregnant, and we both agreed that we would have the child.
I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?
I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more.
Having felt physically fine up to this point, I got on the subway afterward, and all of a sudden, I felt ill. I didn't want to eat anything. What I was going through seemed like a very unnatural experience. On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it.
The specialist called me back at 10 p.m. I had just finished watching a Boston Pops concert at Symphony Hall. As everybody burst into applause, I watched my cellphone vibrating, grabbed it and ran into the lobby. He told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor's perspective, it's a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma. After I talked to the specialist, I told Peter, ''That's what I'm going to do.'' He replied, ''What we're going to do.'' He respected what I was going through, but at a certain point, he felt that this was a decision we were making. I agreed.
When we saw the specialist, we found out that I was carrying identical twins and a stand alone. My doctors thought the stand alone was three days older. There was something psychologically comforting about that, since I wanted to have just one. Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear. The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.
Two days after the procedure, smells no longer set me off and I no longer wanted to eat nothing but sour-apple gum. I went on to have a pretty seamless pregnancy. But I had a recurring feeling that this was going to come back and haunt me. Was I going to have a stillbirth or miscarry late in my pregnancy?
I had a boy, and everything is fine. But thinking about becoming pregnant again is terrifying. Am I going to have quintuplets? I would do the same thing if I had triplets again, but if I had twins, I would probably have twins. Then again, I don't know.
Can't say much except that this is sick. She killed her own children to be "comfortable".
I fear the thermostat in hell is not adjustable.
Hi, Kimmie! Life is precious, and it's awful that there are so many who are blind although they have eyes to see with!
I think I'm gonna go get sick now...
That was easily fixed. But you and 'Peter' were to selfish to put the needs of your children ahead of your own.
I'm sure it already does, every night, when you are laying there in the dark. And it will continue to haunt you the rest of your life. . .you murdered two of your own children.
I couldn't agree more. It's only a hop, skip, and a jump to euthansia. Do you think this is what early Nazi Germany was like? It's like the right-to-live isn't really what it means, it's the right to have a "quality of life" that someone else determines. God help us. It's horrifying to see how far we've sunk as a society. Were the barbarians really any worse? This is barbaric to me!
On judgment day, the author (and you) will find out that God didn't get over this after all.
She probably didn't look at the sonogram. I understand what you mean about the paper feeling "dirty". IMHO that's how we should feel when coming face to face with evil. We shouldn't want to be anywhere near it.
She is going to burn in hell for killing two innocent babies...and ruining the life of an innocent child.
Viability is the correct line because the 2 year old child is viable and deserves rights because it's viable fully developed but dependant. Embryos and fetus are nonviable because they need to use a viable cooperative person to create or build itself. The 2 year old is already fully created. The parents are guardians not owners of the child. People own their embryos in ivf clinics.
How inclined will her son be to keep her alive when she becomes a burden? We can only hope and pray that she is cured of her soul-sickness before she passes it on to him.
So true! I also pray that she's cured before she disposes of her own mother or other relatives that are older. They'll probably need her help sooner than she'll need her son's. How uncaring will she be at that point?
Hi OfF! Long time no 'see'! Yes, life is precious. It sends me into a blind rage when someone talks the 'viability' talk. Preemies that would never have survived even 10 years ago are doing great now! That has nothing to do with humaniy, and everything to do with the breath of God.
Wrong. A 2-year-old is not fully developed. Immune system requires special care, and the reproductive system isn't functional yet--it is still developing.
The argument you are trying to use is simply another excuse for murder. Don't come in here talking about "ownership" of embryos. Abortion stops a beating heart. Period.
I hadn't seen this until today. The "me generation" in all its glory. Disgusting.
You should be. Don't be apathetic anymore.
Laura's pro-abortion. Frankly, I find her to be just as creepy.
Why would you let three Jews live when you only want one?
Mothers, don't let your kids grow up to be college grads.
If you're in the room, and the baby is about to be murdered, you act as you would if a man was threatening your child with a knife.
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