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When One (baby) Is Enough (ultimate in cold selfishness)
nytimes ^ | July 18, 2004 | AMY RICHARDS as told to AMY BARRETT

Posted on 07/18/2004 11:39:14 AM PDT by dennisw

July 18, 2004 LIVES When One Is Enough By AMY RICHARDS as told to AMY BARRETT

I grew up in a working-class family in Pennsylvania not knowing my father. I have never missed not having him. I firmly believe that, but for much of my life I felt that what I probably would have gained was economic security and with that societal security. Growing up with a single mother, I was always buying into the myth that I was going to be seduced in the back of a pickup truck and become pregnant when I was 16. I had friends when I was in school who were helping to rear nieces and nephews, because their siblings, who were not much older, were having babies. I had friends from all over the class spectrum: I saw the nieces and nephews on the one hand and country-club memberships and station wagons on the other. I felt I was in the middle. I had this fear: What would it take for me to just slip?

Now I'm 34. My boyfriend, Peter, and I have been together three years. I'm old enough to presume that I wasn't going to have an easy time becoming pregnant. I was tired of being on the pill, because it made me moody. Before I went off it, Peter and I talked about what would happen if I became pregnant, and we both agreed that we would have the child.

I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''

My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?

I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more.

Having felt physically fine up to this point, I got on the subway afterward, and all of a sudden, I felt ill. I didn't want to eat anything. What I was going through seemed like a very unnatural experience. On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it.

The specialist called me back at 10 p.m. I had just finished watching a Boston Pops concert at Symphony Hall. As everybody burst into applause, I watched my cellphone vibrating, grabbed it and ran into the lobby. He told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor's perspective, it's a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma. After I talked to the specialist, I told Peter, ''That's what I'm going to do.'' He replied, ''What we're going to do.'' He respected what I was going through, but at a certain point, he felt that this was a decision we were making. I agreed.

When we saw the specialist, we found out that I was carrying identical twins and a stand alone. My doctors thought the stand alone was three days older. There was something psychologically comforting about that, since I wanted to have just one. Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear. The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.

Two days after the procedure, smells no longer set me off and I no longer wanted to eat nothing but sour-apple gum. I went on to have a pretty seamless pregnancy. But I had a recurring feeling that this was going to come back and haunt me. Was I going to have a stillbirth or miscarry late in my pregnancy?

I had a boy, and everything is fine. But thinking about becoming pregnant again is terrifying. Am I going to have quintuplets? I would do the same thing if I had triplets again, but if I had twins, I would probably have twins. Then again, I don't know.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Front Page News
KEYWORDS: 2heartbeats; abortion; americasdownfall; americasholocaust; amyrichards; careervsbaby; catholiclist; childmurder; choice; cultureofdeath; culturewar; feminazi; feminism; godhavemercy; godwillnotbemocked; goodvsevil; hiredassassin; holocaust; ihatemarxism; ijustcry; infanticide; madeingodsimage; marxism; mockinggod; molechsfriend; moralanarchy; murder; narcissist; postabortivewomen; prodeath; promurder; relativsim; rightvswrong; rotinhell; sacrificingchildren; secularhumanism; selectivekilling; selectivereduction; sexinthecity; spiritualbattle; triplets; wicked
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To: utahagen

Hopefully a brazen miscalculation by the NYT. We'll see.


181 posted on 07/18/2004 3:15:12 PM PDT by litany_of_lies
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To: DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet

That's true. He's certainly a more sympathetic figure than her...


182 posted on 07/18/2004 3:15:44 PM PDT by NittanyLion
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To: DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet

Well, I assume he had to sign off on having this article published. So where's the shame?


183 posted on 07/18/2004 3:16:27 PM PDT by I-53 (How public, like a frog)
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To: DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet

And think about it, what kind of boyfriend is a bigtime feminist going to have, a strapping macho he-man?


184 posted on 07/18/2004 3:17:53 PM PDT by I-53 (How public, like a frog)
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To: I-53

My guess is you assume incorrectly, but we'll never know.


185 posted on 07/18/2004 3:18:07 PM PDT by litany_of_lies
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To: litany_of_lies

For certain, a brazen miscalculation by her!


186 posted on 07/18/2004 3:18:25 PM PDT by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: litany_of_lies

Assume incorrectly regarding?


187 posted on 07/18/2004 3:19:15 PM PDT by I-53 (How public, like a frog)
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To: dennisw

Dear dennisw,

I checked the link, just to make sure the article was real. It is difficult to believe that this was actually written and published in the New York Times.

It reads like a parody, an awful, sick caricature of pro-aborts. Blind they are. They obviously don't see what is apparent to those who have not lost their reason, their souls, their consciences, their hearts.

How terribly sad. Shameful and sad.


sitetest


188 posted on 07/18/2004 3:22:47 PM PDT by sitetest
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To: Clemenza

If this is the kind of woman you meet on an everyday basis, maybe you ought to consider changing your location or some other "environmental" factor. There are plenty of women who don't agree with this type of thinking. I would hurry to be out of the world you're in just so I wouldn't lose my sanity.


189 posted on 07/18/2004 3:24:05 PM PDT by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: I-53

Sorry, thought you knew I was referring to your 183, that he signed off or even knew about the article before it was published. Since you're relatively new (welcome, welcome), look at the linkback number to see what a person is responding to (sorry if this sounds naggy).

I think I have good reason to doubt that she cares what he thinks about publishing an article when he allowed himself to acquiesce in the killing of 2 of his 3 children without too much of a fight.


190 posted on 07/18/2004 3:24:44 PM PDT by litany_of_lies
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To: dennisw

what a idiot boyfriend for his choice of women.

He was NOTHING in this story, not even a good boyfriend. He did not do the right thing.

She will feel the impact of this wrong choice every time she realizes her son had siblings that should be there.

The only good of this, two less democrats.


191 posted on 07/18/2004 3:24:45 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: I-53
Well, I assume he had to sign off on having this article published. So where's the shame?

I guess I don't know why he would have to "sign off".

Maybe I'm not making my position clear. He doesn't sound like a strong man to me, because if he was, he probably wouldn't be with such a cold, butchy, leftist female to begin with. He is probably a liberal himself. He probably believes in a "woman's right to choose".

I'm not calling him a hero or a saint.

But at least he was willing to try, and of all the characters in this story, he is the one I can be at least somewhat sympathetic to - because the guy had to stand there, wanting those children, knowing that two heartbeats were going to "disappear" and there was not a thing he could do about it.

But he had been willing to be a father. (A lot of guys in situation just wouldn't be.)

And thinking about that is painful for me. I wouldn't assume it isn't still painful for him.

Who knows. Maybe he'll turn into a pro-lifer as a result of this experience. Not much of a consolation, but...

192 posted on 07/18/2004 3:25:58 PM PDT by DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet
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To: I-53

definitly a kerry or algore beta man.


193 posted on 07/18/2004 3:26:21 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: spodefly

Look at it this way: an evil pro-abort liberal is using the shibboleth of choice to reduce her family size as well as here chances of future pregnancy. The liberals, therefore, are exterminating themselves. The antidote is for pro-life folks to go out there and make lots of babies and replenish the earth.


194 posted on 07/18/2004 3:27:11 PM PDT by Don'tMessWithTexas
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To: longtermmemmory

The only good news in this story is that according to the Wall Street Journal, chances are this woman just eliminated 2 liberal votes starting 18 years from now. I'm so glad the NY Times published this letter to show the typical reasons why women abort their children: Selfishness.


195 posted on 07/18/2004 3:27:53 PM PDT by winner3000
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To: I-53

Definitely not. I'm picturing the "Run, Liberal, Run!" Saturday Night Live character...or an Alan Colmes.

No one I would ever, in a million years, be attracted to.

Maybe that's why I see his suggestion that they have the babies as at least SOMETHING. That seems like a big leap for a guy like that.


196 posted on 07/18/2004 3:29:17 PM PDT by DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet
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To: litany_of_lies
I understand the procedure, but didn't think it was too much to ask that you clarify the point, so I'm glad you did.

Now it's my turn to guess that you are assuming incorrectly that he did not have to give his permission to have this article published. I can't fathom that. These pro-choice people are always talking about privacy, and for this to be published in the Gray Lady, of all places, for a worldwide audience, I'm sure she and the Times made very sure it was okay with Peter.

197 posted on 07/18/2004 3:29:33 PM PDT by I-53 (How public, like a frog)
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To: dennisw
Completely and utterly repulsive. I wonder how she's going to explain this to the son she *allowed* to live one day, if ever? "You had two brothers/sisters, but I didn't want to be inconvenienced so I got rid of them before you were born..." Every time I think I've finally heard it all I read something like this--and realize I haven't.
198 posted on 07/18/2004 3:29:58 PM PDT by A Jovial Cad ("I had no shoes and I complained, until I saw a man who had no feet.")
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To: baltodog
Let's hope her "stand-alone" doesn't look for a syringe full of Potassium Chloride when she is old and ill and needs hourly care....

That's a really good point. I hope her own mother is looking over her shoulder as she gets on in years, because if her daughter has this little regard for her own children, it will be just as horrific for her mom when she needs care. Amy will be muttering about how inconvenient her own mother is...and she'll probably off her as well.

199 posted on 07/18/2004 3:32:31 PM PDT by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: dennisw
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village;

...

When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children.

How many more children would she be willing to kill to get a nice rent controlled apartment with a doorman and an elevator? Maybe she could even move into a slightly more fashionable neighborhood than the East Village?

200 posted on 07/18/2004 3:32:51 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (You can lead a liberal to the facts but you can't make him think.)
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