Do you have any original material? As far as finding a suitable hotel in South Carolina, you might try the Francis Marion in Charleston. I'm sure you remember him Mr. Brit...a true American hero.
But you're right. South Carolina is a much simpler place. We know who the enemy is and we have no qualms about what should be done about that enemy. We aren't full of self doubt, self pity, or self imposed guilt. We have a good sense of humor and can laugh at even stupid jokes like yours.
We will help anyone in need, toss political correctness in the garbage whenever we come across it, and understand fully that our Country was founded on Judeo-Christian principles, not on the Koran. So Mr. Brit, now that you know a little bit about South Carolina, y'all come on down for a visit, leave your PC BS behind and learn a lot more.