Are you trying to pull this discussion into a debate over the gov't being in/out of the business of marriage or do you honestly want "gay marriage"? I ask because, as you've stated, you want the gov't out, which is a fine position to take, but simply one that I honestly don't have the time to get into right now, and may be better debated on a different thread (Run-on, I know).If you're trying to argue that "gay marriage" should be endorsed by the state, then you've already contradicted yourself. I'm guessing it's the former, but I truly am curious.
If governemnt is to remain involved in such things, then gay marriage is a must by any secular moral standard.