"Liberals stand for tolerance,
Down at the first gate. He and his charming friends aren't tolerant of conservatives, nor politically incorrect speech.
magnanimity,
Rubbish. It turns my blood cold to see the things that liberals say about George W. Bush. A few have gone so far as to say he should be killed.
community spirit,
Meaning, you should give up more in taxes, but God forbid there should be any public expression of religious faith.
the defense of the weak against the powerful,
Actually the Republicans are doing that by trying to make sure you and your fine friends don't get their hands on them to steal their earnings and to sap initiative.
love of learning,
About ebonics, Queer literature, and other bits of frippery as well as making it so no student ever gets an "F", so a cadre of idiots can be graduated.
all American values worth conserving.
The Americans I'm acquainted with certainly disagree with your interpretation of them, sir.
The people who call themselves conservatives stand for tax cuts, and further tax cuts, annual tax cuts, the only policy they know. Cut taxes. Use the money you save to buy a gun and an attack dog to take with you when you drive the Hummer out of the security gate of Republicanville ..."
Oversimplication and sophistry. The point, Mr. Keillor, is LIBERTY.
Allow me to re-emphasise -
Taxation goes to the very heart of what sparked the American Revolution. Why? Because taxation by a powerful state impinges on liberty. If you believe all the fine talk about being endowed with unalienable rights, you have the liberty to say, think and do as you will...and also to own property. Tax cuts are part and parcel of the restoration of liberty. Liberals would throw all this away.
To conclude, Mr. Keillor, to quote one of your characters from "Lake Woebegon Days" - you're so dumb you deserve to be a Democrat.
Regards, Ivan
Good points all -- well said...
Maybe he meant to say "communist spirit" instead of "community spirit".