The institution of Marriage is in very sorry shape, in large part because people have lost sight of its fundamental purposes:
To use an analogy, the purpose of a library is to provide books for people to read. That does not mean that everyone who enters a library is required to check out and read a book. If a couple friends want to use a library as a rendez-vous point, that's apt to be fine even if they have no intention of checking out any books provided that they conduct themselves discretely and do not interfere with others who are using the library for its main purpose. If, however, a group of people were to descend upon the library who made no secret that their being there had nothing to do with checking out books, and if they drew attention to themselves and their actions, the librarians might very rightly be upset and should have every right to kick them out. If the librarians failed to do so, the book-filled buildig would lose its utility as a library.
I hear what you're saying. But the problem goes way beyond gay marriage.