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The Civil War Sucks
Spy Magazine ^ | March 1994 | Joe Queenan

Posted on 07/11/2004 7:17:56 PM PDT by SamAdams76

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Weird article I came across and I thought I'd share.

BTW, I've started reading Shelby Foote's 2,976 page history of the Civil War and it is fascinating reading. Barne's & Noble has in stock this work in three separate volumes.

As well, I've been viewing Ken Burn's DVD's on the Civil War on my new 60" HDTV. It's an awesome documentary even though Ken Burn's is an horse's ass in person and PBS sucks.

I was recently in Alabama and talked to some folks about the Civil War. The ill feelings still lingers on even to this day.

As a "Yankee" I must say that I respect both sides of the conflict. The Confederates thought they were doing the right thing by seceding from the Union and the Union thought they were doing the right thing by fighting to preserve the Union.

Personally I am just glad that the Union is back together again as I love the Southland and would hate to have to go through customs to visit it.

1 posted on 07/11/2004 7:17:57 PM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: SamAdams76

More properly known as the "War of Northern Aggression."


2 posted on 07/11/2004 7:21:45 PM PDT by Founding Father
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To: SamAdams76
Honey, I think he was kidding. Joe Queenan writes a lot of things like this.

As a Southerner who can laugh at herself, my favorite line of the piece is this one:

"Certainly we are taught as impressionable schoolchildren to believe the Civil War was a noble crusade to free the slaves. But by the time we reach adulthood, most of us either are white people or have been around enough white people to know that white people just don't do things like that - it isn't in their DNA."

3 posted on 07/11/2004 7:25:20 PM PDT by Capriole (DO NOT WRITE IN THIS SPACE. FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY.)
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To: SamAdams76

the American Civil War was a hokey, small-time, ginsu-knife affair that would have been over in three months if the North's generals hadn't all been cowards, bunglers or drunks

We lost half a million more than any other war combined and this guy says it was small. If the war had gone differently we would be living in a different world. Who wrote this article is an idiot.


4 posted on 07/11/2004 7:27:34 PM PDT by Fred22
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To: Capriole

Just asking, do you consider Maryland a Southern state?


5 posted on 07/11/2004 7:29:07 PM PDT by Fred22
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To: SamAdams76
As a "Yankee" I must say that I respect both sides of the conflict. The Confederates thought they were doing the right thing by seceding from the Union and the Union thought they were doing the right thing by fighting to preserve the Union.

As a southerner, I agree.

6 posted on 07/11/2004 7:31:36 PM PDT by Vigilantcitizen ("I believe that what you say about others speaks volumes about yourself." Zell Miller)
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To: SamAdams76

As a RevWar guy, I have ALWAYS hated the (un)Civil War. Six-hundred thousand American dead...never a good outcome.


7 posted on 07/11/2004 7:32:04 PM PDT by Pharmboy (History's greatest agent for freedom: The US Armed Forces)
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To: Founding Father
More properly known as the "War of Northern Aggression."

I find "The Late Unpleasantness" more genteel. :)

8 posted on 07/11/2004 7:32:09 PM PDT by LibKill (Happy Birthday America! I love you.)
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To: Founding Father; stainlessbanner

or the WBTS ;-)


9 posted on 07/11/2004 7:33:16 PM PDT by cyborg
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To: SamAdams76

My YOUNGEST little sonny boy, who is 20, (200 lb, 6 ft. tall body builder), is studying the Civil War in a college history course, I will hand this one to him! I wonder what will happen if he includes this with his report on the war?????? tee hee hee


10 posted on 07/11/2004 7:34:03 PM PDT by buffyt (Party for Bush Cheney - July 15 - all across USA. Look for one in your area. I am having one.)
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To: SamAdams76
Thanks Sam... but you really shouldn't have!

A half million soldiers... plus or minus a million civilian and war related deaths during the "Second American Revolution" and garbage like this pops up. No doubt this author received his public education during LBJ's failed Great Society.

11 posted on 07/11/2004 7:39:08 PM PDT by Luke (u)
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To: SamAdams76

It's a part of our great American culture that shouldn't be supressed in favor of Cinco De Mayo and Gay Pride themes.


12 posted on 07/11/2004 7:39:24 PM PDT by bayourod (Kerry, the human downer, knows the words to "optimism" but can't quite get the tune right.)
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To: Constitution Day; wardaddy

Them's fightin' words ping


13 posted on 07/11/2004 7:39:26 PM PDT by annyokie (Now with 20% More Infidel!)
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To: Capriole
SAVE YOUR CONFEDERATE DOLLARS CAUSE THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!

They died of Southern fever, of Rebel shot and shell, those dirty theivin' yankees are better off in Hell!

Now that was fun.

14 posted on 07/11/2004 7:40:54 PM PDT by smoothsailing (Eagles Up !!!!)
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To: Founding Father

Yessir. No mention of getting shellacked at Ft. Sumpter.


15 posted on 07/11/2004 7:43:26 PM PDT by annyokie (Now with 20% More Infidel!)
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To: Founding Father

You mean "The Late Unpleasantness"?


16 posted on 07/11/2004 7:43:44 PM PDT by mrsmith ("Oyez, oyez! All rise for the Honorable Chief Justice... Hillary Rodham Clinton ")
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To: Luke
I really can't figure out where I stand on the Civil War. On on hand, I respect the right of the states to secede from the Union. On the other, I really want the Union to stay together and in fact, expand.

The Civil War was indeed a tragedy. Literally brother fighting against brother. Let's hope it never happens again.

17 posted on 07/11/2004 7:45:31 PM PDT by SamAdams76 (I never had the makings of a varsity athlete)
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To: SamAdams76

Where's that "Not this shit again" guy?


18 posted on 07/11/2004 7:46:59 PM PDT by Zeroisanumber
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To: landshark; ValerieUSA; sweetliberty; Conservobabe; Mo1; grannie9
War of Northern Agression Ping.

So9

19 posted on 07/11/2004 7:51:36 PM PDT by Servant of the 9 (Goldwater Republican)
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To: SamAdams76
I can't agree with Joe on this one. Even as satire it's hard to call one of the bloodiest conflicts in Western history a "ginsu knife fight."

But I can let this one slide, because a) Joe is a Phillies fan with all the psychoses that entails, and b) he's a great writer.

20 posted on 07/11/2004 7:53:51 PM PDT by The Iguana
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