[InHisService]

Losing money is the only thing big business understands. I have discovered that SlimFast's parent company is Unilever.It may be even better to write them directly. Unilever We can take on an agressive campaign to boycott ALL their products.

[TheSpottedOwl]

Oh boy. Hellman's mayonaise? I searched, so maybe Best Foods mayo is no longer owned by the same company. That would stink. Lipton tea, Wishbone dressing, Surf detergent, Snuggle fabric softener, Pond's, Lux, Dove. It seems that Unilever does most of it's business in Europe, though.

This calls for a carefully crafted response.

[TheSpottedOwl]

Here's what I wrote to Unilever:

Dear Ms. Goldfarb,

It was brought to my attention that Whoopie Goldberg, who is the spokesperson for SlimFast, presented a foul mouthed, drunken tirade at a Democratic fundraiser recently. Her remarks made toward the President were apalling. We cannot afford bad publicity, and I don't think Unilever would appreciate negative consumer reaction.

Your company might want to consider hiring a different spokesperson who represents a more positive image for your product, SlimFast.

Sincerely,


Like I said, crafty...