I agree. And there's no way I could "unlearn" my heterosexuality, no matter how hard I tried. I'm just not into other women, never have been, and can't see how I could make myself be. If it's all learned then sexual preference should be alterable in both directions. Who of the straights among us believe that we could learn to be gay and like it?
I believe that that the true story is a combo of sociological and biological factors, in different proportions for different people. Even gays I've met have had different explanations for how they are who they are.
. One is convinced he was born that way (or became that way very early on). Another thinks he could have ended up either way but a difficult home life, abuse, and a very weird relationship with his mother sent him over to bat for the other team. There's no consensus even among gays, when you talk to them one on one (and I don't mean the vocal PR groups).
LQ
I very much encourage you to read the linked article in post 14.
"Who of the straights among us believe that we could learn to be gay and like it? "
I think that at one time, I probably could have. For a variety of reasons, I used to have a tremendous anger at men. Had I had just a few more bad experiences with men, and had a kind, loving lesbian comforted me, a change in my "sexual orientation" would not have been outside the realm of possibility.
Of course, you have no way of knowing this. I doubt you've even tried (thank God) to do the kind of theraputic work that Dr. Spitzer's homosexual subjects did. Nobody said that changing orientations is easy; on the contrary it was quite difficult work.
If it's all learned then sexual preference should be alterable in both directions.
That would be the logical conclusion, yes. So what?
One is convinced he was born that way (or became that way very early on).
And that parenthetical is the key. Nobody remembers anything about their birth, certainly not their sexual orientation at the time. It is entirely possible that his orientation was determined early in his childhood, without his understanding. That would explain why it is so hard to change, in fact. And if we can identify the environmental factors that led tot that decision then we could seek to arrest it by educating parents.
My husband's uncle had three kids(2M,1F) all gay.
For my part, I think it would be possible for me to form an emotional bond--- like a best friends type of attachment. But the minute that physical contact entered the picture--- even holding hands or a kiss on the cheek---- would send me running I think. That thought, as well as a kiss or anything sexual, totally grosses me out. I can't even make myself think about it.
I've never been married and I quit dating several years back when I realized that I'm way too settled to change anything about myself or my routine. It would be nice to have a best friend... but a heterosexual one.
“Who of the straights among us believe that we could learn to be gay and like it?”. You may want to take a look at the prevalance of homosexuality among men and women in the prison system. I am confident that most of them did not enter into that system with the desire to be gay. Also, there is an article online that discusses the correlation between the lack of available black men for black women and the rising number of black lesbians as a result. And what about all the women who were straight and married to men and as a result of abuse and being burnt too many times by men, turned to women? I know a couple. The truth is that under the “right” circumstances whether in childhood or do to being burnt by the opposite sex or there simply not being enough members of the opposite sex to satisfy sexual desires (as in the case of prisoners) straight people who had NO previous desire to be gay have been turned out. I don’t believe sexuallity is not biological on either side. Its all down to experiences, influences, and personal choices.