Posted on 06/23/2004 4:26:30 PM PDT by Indy Pendance
NEW YORK (Reuters) - There's good news and bad news for aspiring brides: Many young men still want to marry, but most prefer to put it off until they are good and ready.
"Most men are the marrying kind," said Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, a director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey.
But she added: "The trend is to put marriage off."
A report by the group released on Wednesday found 49 percent of single heterosexual men between 25 and 34 would tie the knot tomorrow if the right woman came along. But 53 percent said they are not interested in getting hitched any time soon.
Whitehead, whose books include "Why There Are No Good Men Left," said many young men are waiting until they have a good education and a firm financial footing. Meanwhile, they want to enjoy the single life.
The report said 81 percent of married men in the same age group decided to wed because it was time to settle down; only 15 percent did so because their wives were pushing for it.
That shouldn't deter a marriage-minded woman from letting her man know what she wants, Whitehead said. "You don't talk marriage on the second date, but in a long-term relationship, it's probably important to put that on the table."
The study found 94 percent of men were happier married than single; 73 percent said their sex lives were better; and 68 percent said marriage helped them become more financially stable.
However, a sizable number -- 22 percent of single men -- said marriage just isn't for them. They are more likely to distrust women over past relationships, worry about the risks of divorce and fear losing their personal freedom.
Opinion Research Corp. conducted the survey of 1,010 men in February for the National Marriage Project. It had a margin of error of 4 percentage points.
That's pretty hard to reconcile with a divorce rate of about 50%.
Yes, but how many of those divorces are wife-initiated versus husband-initiated? Perhaps most men ARE happier married than single but today's I-want-everything-now-I-am-the-center-of-the-universe women have something else in mind.
I wager they have a collectively high IQ.
BUMP
That's a reasonable question, but I have trouble believing that women initiate 94% of the divorces in this country.
You can thank the sexual revolution for that.
No, but I suspect a majority. They've been conditioned from Day One to be so pissed off and dissatisfied with EVERYTHING.
Men 'let them down' no matter what the men do. There was a caller on the Dr. Laura show several months ago that was mad at her husband because he, on HER birthday, gave her a gift and took her out to dinner but she was angry because he didn't sit and TALK with her for the last 30 minutes of the day before bedtime.
Women are stressed, depressed and oppressed...don't you read the chick mags?
Well, as someone pointed out on a similar thread, a lot of those 50%-ers are multiple divorcees - people who keep getting married and divorced three, four or five times. They skew the average.
A Priest told a friend of mine that he is witnessing a major change in the situations that lead to divorce. He reports that >90% are initiated by the wife and the primary reason is that she hates the husband.. hatred, seething hatred. And for nebulous reasons.
And he has no skills for this, no past expereinces to draw upon to help.
Of all who might have a real insight in all this, a Priest is probably the best qualified. So sad for all.
No. I cancelled my subscription to Playboy years ago. ;-)
If he's Mr.Right he won't drag out time asking a woman to marry him if she's the one.
Well I do think social engineering has a lot to do with it. Guys get a lot of no strings sex,etc. Oh well if a man dooesn't want to get married, let him stay that way. Better be single than get into a marriage that he doesn't want to be in.
"You can thank the sexual revolution for that."
Yes! ...and also other newer, much more convincing reasons.
http://familyops.us/columns/corry/
Who wants to rot in a federal prison for no more reason than that their spouse had a weak moment in a lifetime and launched a false allegation? I don't know why people go on so much about homosexual so-called "marriage" after the family's already been destroyed by the divorce industry.
And the divorce rate being about 50%...? The big picture is a lot worse after we add the cohabitation rate to it.
,,, no strings? I suspect the risk of going home with more than you left with is a lot higher than it was a decade ago. All sorts of STDs are on the rack these days. I suspect a good number of women have a commodity attitude to sex too. To my mind, marriage is the most wonderful institution for two people who love each other. If you select your partner with the utmost care and love and pursue a course of understanding and committment, your chances are still above average. It can't be approached in a "let's make a deal" format and be expected to run the long haul - by this I mean the "I've got things I want to achieve in life and she can help me get there" angle.
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