Posted on 06/21/2004 11:10:12 AM PDT by Caleb1411
There's a long long way between being obsessive and being uninterested. The writer of the article seems to think that being uninvolved is better than over involved. There is a middle ground which the writer seems to ignore.
I have had other moms tell me at ballgames how their husbands will critique the games all the way home, fussing at the kid for messing up a play, telling them what they should have done - with the kid ending up in tears. One mother told me she drove a seperate car just so she wouldn't have to listen to it.
The worst thing I've seen is a 10 year old trying to pitch wiht their daddy standing on the side lines yelling at them. How awful to do that to a child and I would hate to be in that home when the boy begins to grow into a man and realizes he doesn't have to take it. (Bye-bye baseball)
I forgot to add that the little ten year old pitcher was beginning to cry and trying hard not too. His father was the assistant coach so he wasn't going to be pulled.
I have seen some of the best men I've ever known coach youth sports but then all it takes is a few know-it-alls to ruin it for everyone, especially the kids.
Yes, you are right. I also think it is difficult sometimes to distinguish a child's desire to please his/her parent from a child's real interest in a sport (or other activity). And of course, you don't want your child to be a quitter... so you encourage them to continue an interest once started (to a point). But when does that stop, too? Do you encourage them not to quit, or let it go? Very tough lines to draw. I have to admit, I'm not sure which is worse: overinvolved/obsessive or uninterested. Seems to me that either one can be pretty destructive.
Now common sense tells me that most kids are not going to be good enough at any sport to get a scholarship, but these parents seem to really be banking on this!
I agree with you totally. We had a great LL season this spring (my son's now 12 and it was the last year in LL Majors). Parents (including me) would hang out in the stands during practice sometimes on a nice day - and most of the parents were ALWAYS there for the game. Our coach did a great job of communicating with us, and was very emphatic about our role - support, not 14 sets of coaches in the stands.
So, the kids listened to our coaches, heard the cheers from the stands, and even the positive "atta-boys" towards players on the other team if they made a nice play or got a good hit. By this time, most of them have been on some team with a kid on the other team, and they see each other at school, of course.
It took a mandatory out of town trip before I missed one game - I would never think of going out shopping during a game. It was too important to my son for his parents to see him do what he loves to do. And I wouldn't miss it for the world.
That's not right. It's important for the coach to take charge of this if the parent doesn't have the self-control to leave his son the hell alone during the game. That's when dad (or mom - I've seen it) gets invited to watch the game from beyond the right field fence.
You are wise beyond your years. (No matter how many.)
Even sadder: the kids taken to their practices or lessons BY THE NANNY. The Mommy and Me classes with the Spanish-only nanny while the mom does something "more important." Sheesh.
There are fathers who berate referees for picking on "my kid." Fathers who threaten unpaid coaches for "not playing my kid more." Fathers who insist that a high school "treat my kid better" or he'll transfer to the school across town.
Now there's a pile of silly stereotyping if I ever read it. Sure, there's the rare knucklehead who behaves this way, but I have been coaching (baseball and some soccer) for some 15 years and I never once saw any of the behavior described above by this author. Maybe a little jawing at the ump from time to time, and a little complaining about lots of things, but never any "threats", "fistfights", or "shoves". Nothing abusive, ever.
Coaching kids is fun and rewarding as long as you always keep in mind that it's about.... the kids.
The vast majority of coaches I have encountered understand this.
My older son's baseball team had a kid whose dad realized that he had a little self-control problem when it came to watching his boy play ball. So every game he would take his folding chair and go sit by himself to watch the game from behind the center field fence. I always appreciated that.
I have a friend who has a black belt in taekwondo. He is good friends with a person who has a studio.
I agree that sports is a great teaching tool for adult life. My problem is when you have a family who is never home because each kid is on a different league. Mom and Dad split up on the weekends to ferry the kids to their different events. When do they have time to mow the lawn? Nevermind, they have Mexican gardeners and housekeepers.
My girls have never been in Girl Scouts for probably a similar reason.
Same here. We chose 4H and the kids did just fine.
My years are many......sixty seven to be exact.
I am sure there are things that my kids will insist they'll never forgive us for.....LOL......
Could not agree with you more. I have been coaching youth Baseball since 1986, prior to me getting married or having children myself (in that order) This article is nothing more than a hatchet job on Dad's who not only give their time to their own kids but usually 11 other children who in some cases their parents could care less.
This guy obviously wishes his Dad would have taken the time and interest in his sports endeavors, that's obvious from his article
This year both my boys have played on 2 different teams, local Little League and Traveling AAU (competitive) teams. One is 9 and the other is 11, one might ask, is this tooo much Baseball? They never missed a practice or a game for either of the teams they played on and both are on the A and the A/B honor roll at school. Yes it was very busy, and both my Wife and I consider it a labor of love for our children. Our children love the game and they help keep us straight on practice and game times.
To try and tarnish Dad's and Coaches of youth league sports, who spend a lot of time with theirs and other kids in sports programs as some kind of Hot Headed, Regimented, Drill Seargent trying to makeup for their own frailties through their children is ignorant at best. He appears to be justifying his own fathers lack of interest in him when he was a very impressionable boy.
Are their Dad's in youth sports like the ones he mentioned? - yes there are, but they are a very extreme minority and seem to get more attention. Unfortunately, there are more Dad's like his who seemingly could care less. Thus, not even encouraging a child in a wholesome activity he is obviously interested in - what a shame. Mom's in my experience are 10x more animated than the Dad's.
Is the Authors issue, Dad's or Coaches or Dad's who coach? or is it his Dad?
As a Coach, a Dad and a Coach Dad, I find it very offensive to catagorically lump everyone giving their time, talent and treasure in the same pot.
That's Profiling! - and Profiling is Wrong! - ROTFLMAO
Yeah, I think Freud would have a blast with this author.
Wow - there's a dad in our town who's done the same thing! Maybe they're one and the same. :-)
I forgot to mention - our coach also requested that the parents just cheer - no batting tips, no "choke up" or "elbow up" while at bat, no positioning of the fielders. He normally coached at third, and if he noticed the boy needed to adjust something while batting, HE would say so. Parents don't know what the coach has been working on with him, and often would unknowingly screw up what he just spent 15 minutes on with the boy.
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