You said, "Maybe, sometime he will feel a heavenly pull on his earlobes for doing so."
Perhaps so, since his Dad was fond of doing so; however, more than once I heard my father and uncle tell me that they'd "jerk a know in my ass" if I didn't straighten up. It was a very effective deterrent.
should read "knot" in lieu of "know". Need to proof read better.
"jerk a know in my ass"
What does that mean?