WSJ Opinion Journal: The Onion Imitates Us: Kerry Names 1969 Version of Himself As Running Mate

WSJ Opinion Journal ^ | June 11, 2004 | James Taranto

[tvn]

"Kerry Names 1969 Version of Himself as Running Mate," reads a headline in the Onion:

Kerry said his newly chosen running mate graduated from Yale University in 1966, after which he volunteered for the Navy, serving as a swift-boat officer on a gunboat in the Mekong Delta in Vietnam. For his exemplary service, the young soldier was awarded a Silver Star, a Bronze Star, and three Purple Hearts.

"My running mate is a natural-born leader," Kerry said. "He was born at Fitzsimons Military Hospital in Denver, where his father was recovering from tuberculosis after volunteering for the Army Air Corps in WWII. He continues to uphold a belief instilled in him from a young age: that you must always fight for what you believe in, no matter the cost. Man, to be 25 again."

This is pretty funny, though not exactly cutting-edge humor. After all, we've been making fun of Kerry's Vietnam obsession since December 2002.

[battlegearboat]

I hope they can agree to disagree.

[Lokibob]

"He was born at Fitzsimons Military Hospital in Denver, where his father was recovering from tuberculosis "

 

I have heard this over and over.  Never a mention of his mother, just his father, and  his father in the hospital.  Just seems strange.

 

And it is always worded the same.

[PJ-Comix]

Never a mention of his mother, just his father, and his father in the hospital.

Kerry RARELY mentions his mother. Part of the reason is because she is perceived as a stuffy Brahmin. However, I think a bigger reason is that Kerry's father pulled a fast one on her. Because Fred Kerry wanted to climb up in the social circles, he declined to tell her that his family name is really Kohn. Then when she discovered the truth about Fred (probably to the horror of her blueblood family) she took it out on little Johnnie.

[Wild Irish Rogue]

" Kerry RARELY mentions his mother "

For the reasons you stated.
But, also Kerry's mother was French-lived most of her life in France, she didn't vacation there for a few weeks each summer, like his campaign wants everyone to believe.
She was born and raised in France and only reluctantly came to the US,as Kerry's father's fiancee in 1941.
At the age of 28.

" I am so scared of coming to America.." Rosy wrote to her future husband in 1940. ( page 16, " John F Kerry, The Complete Biography By The Boston Globe Reporters Who Knew Him Best )
Kerry's parents only remained in the US from 1941 until 1954, when they moved back to Europe.
If Kerry's mother were still alive today- she would speak with a French accent.
Kerry's paternal grandparents,Fritz and Ida Kohn/Kerry and their first born son Erich, emigrated from Austria at the age of 32.
They lived until Kerry was in his late teens and obviously spoke with Austrian accents, like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Wolfgang Puck.
So-Kerry's mother spoke with a French accent, as did most of his maternal family and his paternal grandparents spoke with Austrian accents, no one in the family had an Irish name, the family compound was in France, not Ireland and yet Kerry claims that he just recently discovered that he wasn't Irish.
And the media lets him get away with this obviously patent lie. Either that or Kerry is as dumb as a sack of cement.