Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
- Dorothy Parker
Good one! I had a psychiatrist ask me once if I had suicidal thoughts. I told her that if I killed myself, I would go to hell and that just would be redundant.