Isn't it the family who chooses who will speak and what music will be played ??
Nancy is strong willed and protective of her husband. I can't blame her. I wouldn't want Carter and Clinton to speak if I were her. The Carters's were never able to hide their bitterness toward Pres. Reagan and Clinton made a mockery of everything Pres. Reagan held dear.
Many people plan their own memorials. Maybe he told Nancy whom to include and whom NOT to include.