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Long time lurker here, newbie poster. I just had to share this poem about FDR. An old cousin of mine found it last year in a box of his long dead father's things. The author of the poem is unknown.

Rejected

A stranger stood at the gates of Hell,
and the Devil himself answered the bell.
He looked him o’er from head to toe,
and said, “My friend, I’d like to know:
What have you done in the line of sin
to entitle you to come within?”

Then Franklin D., with his usual guile,
stepped forth and flashed his toothy smile.
“When I took charge in thirty-three,
a nation’s faith was mine, said he.
I promised this and I promised that
and calmed them down with a Fireside Chat.
I spent their money on fishing trips
and traveled afar on their battle ships.
I gave them jobs on the P.W.A.,
then raised their taxes and took it away.
I raised their wages and closed their shops,
killed their pigs and burned their crops.
I double-crossed both old and young
and still the folks my praises sung.
I brought back beer, and what do you think?
I taxed it so high that they couldn’t drink.
I furnished money with government loans.
When they missed a payment, I took their homes.
When I wanted to punish the fools, you know,
I put my wife on the radio.”

“I paid them to let their farms lie still
and imported foodstuffs from Brazil.
I curtailed crops when I felt mean
and shipped in corn from the Argentine.
When they’d start to worry, stew and fret,
I’d get them chanting the alphabet:
With the A.A.A. and the N.L.B.
the W.P.A. and the C.C.C.
With these silly units, I got their goats,
and still I crammed it down their throats.”

“My workers moved with the speed of snails
while the taxpayers chewed their fingernails.
When the organizers needed dough,
I closed up factories with the C.I.O.
I ruined jobs, I ruined health
and put the screws on the rich man’s wealth.
Some groups who couldn’t stand the gaff
would call on me and how I’d laugh.
When they got too strong on certain things,
I’d pack and head for Old Warm Springs.
I ruined their country and finances---then
I placed the blame on ‘Nine Old Men.’”

Now Franklin talked both long and loud,
and the Devil stood with head low bowed.
At last he said, “Let me make it clear:
You’ll have to go; you can’t stay here.
For once you mingle with this mob,
I’ll have to find myself a job.”