May God give you strength and comfort as you face this illness. My mother had dementia or altzheimer's. As they say - it all comes to the same result.
What I learned is to just take them as they are and where they are. Do not continually ask them "Why did you do that?" Enjoy what you can with them, find activities you can do together and laugh a lot. I have so many sweet memories of our times together, so many funny things, so many cute things. I do so miss the other Altzheimer's patients I came to know as Mother and I went through those years. I lost her in March.
One of my favorite times was when I brought her a baby doll. She was in the lunchroom and her face lit up. All stopped to watch as she took it. It was a beautiful moment and I feel she enjoyed this gift more than any other I've ever given her. That baby doll was her baby and many times we had to clean it because she fed it lunch as she ate.
And most of all - realize they cannot help that they forget, they cannot help when they can't do something. My worst memories are the times I got frustrated with her over doing some little task. I am ashamed at that irritation at such a sweet little person.
Thank you all so much for your kindness! I've just had to accept the diagnosis, after denying for a year or more that it was anything other than ordinary forgetfulness. My mother, of course, had to be realistic sooner. He's taking Aricept, and Mom says it helps some.
I know it's possible he may have a swift decline, and be gone in just a few years, or we may have many years when he's in relatively good health, and just doesn't remember everything. The old memories from his childhood and years in the Navy are some of the best, anyway :-).
This is another opportunity (I get so many ...) to trust that God has everything under control ... it's just hard to surrender.
Thank you all again for your prayers and thoughtfulness.