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Kiss the Eel and Lay Down Your Cheese (The Poker Craze)
Miami Herald ^ | june5, 2004 | Dave Barry

Posted on 06/06/2004 9:12:43 PM PDT by nuconvert

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1 posted on 06/06/2004 9:12:45 PM PDT by nuconvert
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To: nuconvert

"Six Card High Low Medium Jacks Wild Stud Draw Go Fish"

I think I've actually played this game. It requires little poker knowledge, but lots of tequila.

Thanks for posting this, Dave Barry rocks!!!


2 posted on 06/06/2004 9:20:39 PM PDT by Theresawithanh (BUSH/CHENEY 2004!!!!!!)
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To: nuconvert

I just re-read "Positivelu Fifth Street" by James McManus. A must for any poker afficionado.


3 posted on 06/06/2004 9:23:25 PM PDT by BunnySlippers (Must get moose and squirrel ... B. Badanov)
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To: nuconvert

Not as good as the Pulitzer Prize winning article on Professional Wrestling, but still very funny. Thanks for the laugh.


4 posted on 06/06/2004 9:23:39 PM PDT by mean lunch lady (A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up three thousand times more memory...)
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To: BunnySlippers

Oops, that's "Positively Fifth Street". :)


5 posted on 06/06/2004 9:24:04 PM PDT by BunnySlippers (Must get moose and squirrel ... B. Badanov)
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To: Theresawithanh

I remember long ago at a slumber party my mom taught all of us girls to play poker (on the condition that no-one tell their parents where they learned it). There was a game called Baseball where 3's and 9's are wild and anything that follows a 4 is wild but if another 4 is played then the wild card changes to the one that follows that 4. Got it?

There was also one called "Follow the Wild Queen" which I think involved changing wild cards, too.


6 posted on 06/06/2004 9:27:04 PM PDT by mean lunch lady (A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up three thousand times more memory...)
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To: nuconvert

My boys are poker fanatics. Me...I never played the game.


7 posted on 06/06/2004 9:30:32 PM PDT by PGalt
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To: PGalt
Me...I never played the game.

Sorry, FRiend - no suckers online tonight. ;-)

8 posted on 06/06/2004 9:34:42 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Am Yisrael Chai!)
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To: Slings and Arrows

LOL...it's a true statement.


9 posted on 06/06/2004 9:36:46 PM PDT by PGalt
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To: mean lunch lady
I remember long ago at a slumber party my mom taught all of us girls to play poker (on the condition that no-one tell their parents where they learned it). There was a game called Baseball where 3's and 9's are wild and anything that follows a 4 is wild but if another 4 is played then the wild card changes to the one that follows that 4. Got it?

I and several colleagues play poker at least once a month. Our last game was last night. We played Baseball, but the variant we play allows you to buy another card if you draw a 4. Threes and Nines are wild, but you have to pay for them (10 for a 3, 20 for a 9, 25 for another card when you draw a 4). It gets pretty brutal.

There was also one called "Follow the Wild Queen" which I think involved changing wild cards, too.

We play that game as well, though mostly we just play Texas Hold'em. It's 7-card stud. Each player gets two "down" cards and share 5 "up" cards consecutively drawn on a 3-card flop, then a 1-card flop (called "Fourth Street") and the fifth-card flop (called "the River").

I didn't do too bad. Walked away with a piece of everyone else's money. : )

10 posted on 06/06/2004 9:36:46 PM PDT by Prime Choice (When Clinton lies, he insults our integrity. When Kerry lies, he insults our intelligence.)
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To: Prime Choice

Poker and Chess!!! metaphors for life.


11 posted on 06/06/2004 9:39:33 PM PDT by Gforce11
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To: nuconvert
there are many other popular variations of poker, including Seven Card Stud, Five Card Draw, Alabama Grope 'em, Omaha High Low, Iowa Bore 'em, Six Card High Low Medium Jacks Wild Stud Draw Go Fish, Cincinnati Lawn Flamingo, Florida Recount 'em, Kansas City Clam Enhancer, Arkansas Geld 'em, New Jersey Whack 'em, New York Kvetch 'em, Red Rover and Whist.

That's a remarkably accurate description of what seems to happen to me every time I play poker.

There are sharks among us my friends, and the ones I know always seem to be holding a full boat to my pair of 3s.

12 posted on 06/06/2004 9:41:42 PM PDT by asgardshill
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To: Prime Choice

Sounds interesting. I haven't played Poker in a long time but when my parents played with a group of their friends, my mom used to win our lunch money for the week (long time ago). She was also lucky (so they claimed) at beating out all the guys in the football betting pool that my dad and his co-workers had going every week. She had the most winning picks of any of them.


13 posted on 06/06/2004 9:43:10 PM PDT by mean lunch lady (A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up three thousand times more memory...)
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To: asgardshill

Maybe you could talk them into trying a new variation, like the one the comedian Steven Wright mentioned. "I played Poker last night with a Tarot deck.. I got a full house but four people died."


14 posted on 06/06/2004 9:45:14 PM PDT by mean lunch lady (A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up three thousand times more memory...)
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To: mean lunch lady

LOL. I HAVE learned to put next week's lunch money way back in my wallet so I won't be tempted to use it to buy more chips after they clean me out.


15 posted on 06/06/2004 9:48:58 PM PDT by asgardshill
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To: asgardshill

.."I HAVE learned to put next week's lunch money way back in my wallet so I won't be tempted to use it to buy more chips after they clean me out."..

Sounds like a good plan. When I go shopping, I try to leave most of my money at home so I don't get sucked into spending it on stuff I don't need. Maybe if I could learn to win lots of money at Poker, I wouldn't need to worry about it.
I should visit that Mikosoukee Indian Casino Dave Barry mentioned - I've seen the billboards.


16 posted on 06/06/2004 9:53:03 PM PDT by mean lunch lady (A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up three thousand times more memory...)
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To: nuconvert

I lost my shirt on Smarty Jones, that is way, I am sitting here topless.


17 posted on 06/06/2004 9:54:02 PM PDT by razorback-bert
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To: mean lunch lady

Yes, I used to play that at my ex-in-laws. It was a lot of fun, until my ex's mom and dad would start arguing about the rules, that is!


18 posted on 06/06/2004 9:57:54 PM PDT by Theresawithanh (BUSH/CHENEY 2004!!!!!!)
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To: nuconvert

Sure as heck, even as I type this there is a poker game on ESPN2. Hold 'em is like a virus, it's killing off all other forms of poker.


19 posted on 06/06/2004 9:58:07 PM PDT by jordan8
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To: Theresawithanh

~~"Yes, I used to play that at my ex-in-laws. It was a lot of fun, until my ex's mom and dad would start arguing about the rules, that is!"~~

Rules? There are rules? Nobody told me that.


20 posted on 06/06/2004 10:21:52 PM PDT by mean lunch lady (A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up three thousand times more memory...)
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