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I don't understand gay.

I'm not homophobic, I just don't understand how a person could become gay. Is it a mental disorder? Are some nerve synapses not fully connected, such as in the case of serial killers? Is it because of too many insecticides and chemicals in our environment? I don't know. I don't hate them, I just don't understand them.

That being said, I will love my children forever and if one of them turns out to be gay, I'll still love them. I have a niece and a cousin who are both gay (the non-parading kind) and I love them both very dearly.

But I'm not going to encourage gay behavior, nor will I support it. My children understand that the world is a hard place to live sometimes, and if a person's behavior warrants criticism from others, so be it. I'm not going to send them to a special school where that behavior is accepted.

"I have a niece and a cousin who are both gay (the non-parading kind) and I love them both very dearly."

Have you ever considered getting them help, that is if you really love them? These is nothing normal about being "gay" whether they parade around or not.

A great organization, Exodus has had great success in getting to the root of their emotional problem and overcoming it. It's on the Internet. I gently suggest you investigate, that is if you really love them.

I had a niece who was gay too. I took my frustrations out online rather than saying anything to her.

I teased her once because she had a hickey on her neck. (All I did was ask her what's that mark on your neck. She looked embarrassed and came up with some lame answer. I looked at her mom and we both snickered. My niece knew then that I knew what it was and she laughed too.)

The only time I said anything was when she mentioned it to me. She said she wasn't going to live that lifestyle forever. She thought the people were weirdos -- especially the men -- and she wanted out. She thought her girlfriend was a nice person and everything, and that there was nothing actually WRONG with it, but she wanted out. I told her that I thought it was wrong but that I loved her anyway because she's my niece. That's it.

She shot herself about two months after that conversation. She was almost 22 when she died. Was I right to stay silent? I don't think so.

She also stole money from me once and I never confronted her about that either. Her mother paid me back. In hindsight, you don't do anyone any favors by ignoring their negative behaviors.

I did have a conversation with her sister once. We had a borderline argument over the gay issue. She talked about gay kids at school. I told her that she could like people without approving of everything they did. She asked if she should "hate" her sister. I said of course not, but did she also approve of her sister's other actions -- like stealing, running around with gangs, etc.? After her sister's death, she is no longer so sympathetic. She understands that her sister and her girlfriends (there were many) were very troubled people. She knew that at the time really. She just felt cool having a cutting-edge opinion. It made her feel smarter than her mother and her aunt. It's sad.

My niece was introduced to this whole gay concept in school. She went to juvenile detention where she had her first lesbian experience. She met people there who brought her into their lesbian social group. They were 10+ years older than she was. State counseling just affirmed her. State social services gave her foster kids. They were then lucky enough to be part of the whole suicide experience. The whole thing is an atrocity that happened BECAUSE of state tolerance of homosexuality.

She died from a bullet from a state owned gun. Her girlfriend was a police officer and it was her unsecured gun.

" Is it a mental disorder?"

I think that’s pretty much the best analogy . Just like other mental disorders, evidence is inconclusive on what the biological/environmental mix is, but there definitely is an environmental component, shown by analysis of twin separated at birth studies.

My Grandma used to say "It's OK to have feelings...it's acting like you're the only one who does that gets you in trouble." Being attracted to the same sex may not be avoidable but it's what's done with those feelings that makes one a homosexual. Emotions aren't always a choice but having sex is! I resent the gays who exhalt their sexual choices above everyone else's by claiming special minority status merely because those choices disgust most other people which, in turn, makes homosexuals feel bad.
Wouldn't we all feel better if "the love that dare not speak it's name" would simply shut up already?!