"Circle jerks must be their form of group savings accounts."
Incorrect. Abstinance is a savings account. A circle jerk is an open ended mutual fund and I think it's tax deductable but not insurable (no deposit insurance regardless of the size of the deposit).
Also a "put" option is a promise to deliver an agreed upon amount of sperm at some future date at the prevailing price.
A "call" option is a promise to purchase a specified amount of sperm at a future date at the prevailing price.
In the case of both options you may chose not to "exercise" your option on the due date.
I'm not sure how registered retirement accounts work.
I've figured it out.
In the case of registered retirement plans if you "withdraw" your deposit before "retiring", your deposit is treated as "in-come" and a percentage of your sperm will be sent to the INS as "in-come tax".
I hope that clears everything up.
So, how are things in high sperm finance?
You guys must be raking it in...hand over fist!