Retirement Package: $1,000,000 to start, with a generous 7.5% annual yield on the balance (fixed rate, compounded daily). Limited only by the financial commitments of the United Nations, Syria, Iran, and France.*
* Afghanistan and Iraq are no longer participating in this program.
This package becomes null and void upon the death of the beneficiary -- then it's only 72 virgins for you. Consider the above a generous bonus for making it through "Mission Impossible."
Free Ambulance Rides: Your wife and children may ride free, too!
This package becomes null and void upon the death of the beneficiary. Your wife and children are NOT covered -- you're advised to hide behind other women and children when committing terrorist acts.
A Free Funeral: For the ultimate peace of mind.
This package is only applicable if you have at least two sons who are willing to become part of our wonderful organization after your unfortunate death. A $500 deductible applies.
Lasting Memories: We'll send Al-Jezeera and CNN video footage demonstrating that you were a peace-loving individual who was killed for no reason by the Zionist entity -- mock weddings work well. Believe us, your legacy will last!
Hamas: Where Good Leaders Come to Die™
LMAO!:)