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"Y'allbonics"
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Posted on 05/18/2004 8:09:41 AM PDT by OldBlondBabe

Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of Colleges & Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach "Y'allbonics" in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon line. Included here are some samples of "Y'allbonics." If you do not understand any of them, contact a Southerner for an explanation.

HEIDI: (noun) Greeting.

HIRE YEW: (complete sentence) Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

BARD: (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH: (noun) The state north of Florida. Capital is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER: (noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS: (noun) A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK: (verb) Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a Coke."

RANCH: (noun) A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL: (noun) A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR: (noun) A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR: (noun) A rubber wheel. Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE: (noun) A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, Ah sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime."

RETARD: (verb) To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FARN: (adjective) Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed .must be from some farn country."

DID: (adjective) Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

ARE: (noun) A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR: (noun) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: dixie; language; south; yall
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To: pnz1
Sun-Drop-possibly the official drink of the South? That or an RC Cola?

Depends on whare yore frum. We likt R-O-C colars & a moon pie. Some likt Barges (Barq's) root beer.
121 posted on 05/18/2004 9:04:42 AM PDT by jrushing (VRWC)
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To: mtbopfuyn
"Since we're talking pronunciation..."

Ahem!!! That's pronownced pronownseeayshun!!!

122 posted on 05/18/2004 9:04:46 AM PDT by SierraWasp (STOP PREMPTIVE JOURNALISM!!! A malevolent media can kill America's will, AGAIN!!!)
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To: ErnBatavia

Precisely, the pronunciation of with is properly "Mewn Pah."


123 posted on 05/18/2004 9:05:37 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: jrushing
A pool? Must be some ha falutin' city place, all's we gots cheer is ah cow tank.
124 posted on 05/18/2004 9:05:40 AM PDT by mtbopfuyn
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To: OldBlondBabe
win-win - Usage: it's a leveraged synergistic win-win up-sell opportunity
proactive - Usage:

... oh wait, sorry, wrong thread!

125 posted on 05/18/2004 9:05:41 AM PDT by Revolting cat! ("In the end, nothing explains anything!")
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To: TheBigB
bust your ass: 2 meanings. One is what happens to kids who misbehave, the other is what we do when we work hard.

Ive yet to see anyones ass actually bust though.

126 posted on 05/18/2004 9:05:53 AM PDT by No Blue States
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To: OldBlondBabe

Ok all y'all think this funny but I moved to Maine 'bout tin years ago 'n I still got serious cumunicatsun problems. I mean nobody up here even knows what tump means. I'm fixin to go nuts. and could sumbody tell me what a dooryad is and why there's a cah in it?


127 posted on 05/18/2004 9:06:37 AM PDT by armymarinedad (Proud father of death from above)
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To: OldBlondBabe

Ya'll come on down!....


128 posted on 05/18/2004 9:07:29 AM PDT by rrrod
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To: mtbopfuyn
all's we gots cheer is ah cow tank.

Izzat lak a see-ment pond? :)

129 posted on 05/18/2004 9:07:32 AM PDT by TheBigB (Jaime Pressly: proof that God does indeed exist.)
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To: jrushing

Well the RC Cola Moonpie Festival is this weekend in Bell Buckle TN..


130 posted on 05/18/2004 9:07:51 AM PDT by pnz1
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To: Poohbah

One of my first encounters with the North/South language barrier was also in the service. We had some free time and a group of fellers was getting ready to go out. So, I asked them plain as day "Wad chya'll fixin a du?".
Man it took them forever to figure that one out.


131 posted on 05/18/2004 9:07:52 AM PDT by MagnumRancid
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To: TheBigB

Dinner was served Sunday after church.


132 posted on 05/18/2004 9:08:12 AM PDT by Cooter
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To: Phantom Lord

There was this old fellow from Arkansas who had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

In response the passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."


133 posted on 05/18/2004 9:09:56 AM PDT by Proverbs 3-5
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To: No Blue States

How you recon that crack got in there in the first place? Busted it when you was a youngin, I'd say.


134 posted on 05/18/2004 9:11:15 AM PDT by Quilla (God bless America, President George W. Bush, our brave troops, and Freepers everywhere.)
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To: jrushing
Pronunciations depend on which Southern State you are from.

This is so true. Arguments actually break out as to the correct pronunciation. I've lived in all the deep Southern states and I can pick up on the differences so as to identify the state one is from.

135 posted on 05/18/2004 9:11:25 AM PDT by WVNan (Be faithful in little things, for in them our strength lies. (Mother Teresa))
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To: Cooter

Round here Dinner is any meal where you sit down to the table. Breakfast, lunch, and supper are the specific "dinners". There is some debate if Breakfast is a dinner, pertty much agreement on Lunch and Supper.


136 posted on 05/18/2004 9:11:45 AM PDT by MagnumRancid
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To: MagnumRancid

We love breakfast for supper..


137 posted on 05/18/2004 9:12:31 AM PDT by pnz1
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To: FlatLandBeer
What is pural for y'all?

All y'all
138 posted on 05/18/2004 9:13:25 AM PDT by Proverbs 3-5
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To: pnz1

>>
We love breakfast for supper..
<<
That's why the Good Lord gave us Cracker Barrel, Waffle House, and the IHOP.


139 posted on 05/18/2004 9:14:05 AM PDT by MagnumRancid
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To: No Blue States
Well of course you can bust your ass. How do you think somebody ends up with his ass in a sling, anyway?
140 posted on 05/18/2004 9:15:01 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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