Yes, I more or less share your perspective. I suspect that when we find two opposite doctrines in seeming coexistence, it means that the real principle at work is more complicated than we realize...and no, I have no clue how it works, except according to the Lord's will.
"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!" - Luke 13:34
I agree.
In my college philosophy course, my head exploded when we got to predestination vs free will.
You can ride that train in circles forever and never get anywhere.