I was wondering as I head off to to my brief to the Guard/Reserve guys...am I liable under UCMJ if someone dies during my brief and the cause of death is determined to be "Death By Powerpoint"???
Allow me this little block of instruction!
Death By Powerpoint(C) (DBPP) is an acknowledged malady, spread by the close confines of briefing and conference rooms. It was first identified in corporate offices in the late 1990's, coinciding with the release and meteoric popularity of Microsoft's PowerPoint(C) presentation software.
DBPP presents itself as a feeling of general ennui throughout the target audience, followed by acute drowsiness and stuporous behavior, not unlike deep over-medication. If untreated, DBPP can result in a comatose state, which has proven lethal on several occasions (see AMA articles re. the multiple DBPP event at XYZ Corp. on September, 1999).
DBPP can be treated with a variety of field expedient methods. Caffeinated sodas, especially Mountain Dew(C) or Jolt(C), have been found to be effective in 92% of subjects tested. Anecdotal evidence also suggests that a beverage pioneered by the Army National Guard - a Coffee/Mountain Dew "sprizter" - has almost instantaneuos success in combatting the symptoms of DBPP.
Other field expedient methods include: air horns at point-blank range to the afflicted; the release into the affected room of small rodent animals (BRIFERS NOTE: Hissing cockroaches have been proven effective, upon availability); and senior NCO's threatening dire punishment.