I have 5 children, and I think Quix has pretty well hit the nail on the head. There's no guarantee against a child 'going wrong', but you sure do lower the chances if a child KNOWS and FEELS that you love them.
As for me - that's the main reason why I have always stayed at home with my children, even through some very difficult financial times. We also homeschool. I want my children to know that I value them enough to sacrifice my own time for them. I'm intelligent enough to have a very highly paid career... but my children are more important. Period.
I don't think Klebold's parents taught him to hate, or to blow people up. But for some reason, he apparently didn't feel important to them. One thing that kept me on the straight and narrow as a child, teen and young adult, was knowing how badly it would hurt my parents if I screwed up.
Again, there are NO guarantees. But having a one-on-one relationship with your children really does lower the odds!
I've made some mistakes with my kids, and it's usually been because of my own selfishness, or laziness. Not wanting to bother to find out what was really making them tick. I regret every time I've done that!
They are still ultimately responsible for their own actions, but they were given parents for a reason. "Train up a child in the way he SHOULD go..."
Thanks, Quix, for your posts. It's made me renew my own commitment.
I agree that this is extremely important. My own son is not as connected to his father as I would like, and I see that this is a problem. Their personalities are as different as night and day. My husband reaches out to him and I try to "guide" the relationship a bit, but it never seems to help much.
My son cannot read love in the gestures, and words don't seem to reach him.
THANKS FOR YOUR WONDERFULLY CANDID INSIGHTS AND HONESTY.
The comment on laziness is so true. It's the same way in marriages. We don't FEEL LIKE taking out the trash or extending ourselves to serve our spouse. So we let it slide or whatever . . . for the nth time.
Builds up fast.
A *SLIGHT* QUIBBLE ABOUT "NO GUARANTEE." i AGREE IN PRINCIPLE.
However, IF THE PARENTS WILL DO THE KEY CONDITIONAL PARTS, THEN I BELIEVE ****GOD**** DOES GUARANTEE THAT THEY WILL GROW UP IN THE WAY THEY SHOULD GO.
Now, I heard my favorite pastor teach one time that in the Greek, it is clear that THE WAY THEY SHOULD GO INCLUDES what is tailor made for that child's personality and destiny. Much grief to all concerned has been a dad trying to make a foot ball player out of a piano player or vice versa.
Much appreciated your msg.