"And, with most people, asking WHY is counter productive because it feels like an accusation. USUALLY, IN MARRIAGES AND WITH TEENS, IT'S BETTER TO AVOID ASKING QUESTIONS AT ALL. a good exercise toward that is to commit to one's spouse to go a whole month without asking a single question. You learn to make statements. "
I never thought of it like that, but you're absolutely right on this! Thank you! I'm going to think about it and put it into practice in my own life.
Am blessed to read of it.
Humbled and blessed.
If you come up with an issue or situation you'd like more suggested statements to try, please feel free to let me know by FREEPMAIL or some such.
Would be delighted to read of your experiences with such privately or on the thread.
It's usually a very powerful thing.
None of us likes to feel like the questioner has their hands around our throats or essence or whatever.
Statements that are open ended, like a hand open flat--with a WARM SORT of take it or leave it--are much more effective bridges between people.
Usually the first few days or week are the hardest.
Another thing the exercise does--it causes people to FOCUS on:
A) communicating more in general
and
B) THINKING WELL ABOUT what they are trying to communicate
and
C) WHAT the desired result is of their communication.
All of which is usually to the good, BTW!
CHEERS TO YOUR GROWTH and prayers for the growth of intimacy between you and loved ones!