[SJackson]

The family has Nick tied up in the basement. They made a deal with MoveOn.org and the Screen Actor's Guild, to produce this movie (the videotape) and blame the whole thing on Bush so that Kerry would win the election. After Kerry wins the election, Nick is going to step out a shower and say the whole thing was a dream.

I can't divulge the source, but I understand that after he's released from the cage he's being kept in, he's marrying a Korean sushi waitress. I don't know how to connect that.

Or is that a different Nick and and a different Cage? No matter, talking about dead people is fun. It's a conservative thing I guess.

Hey, did I tell you the one about the terrorists they caught in a moving van in Tennessee?

[SJackson]

Pretty girl too. Check out the makeover they did on him. Much better looking in pinstripes.