Damn. Why would the DOD bar the family from seeing his body come home? I'm sure they have a good reason, but it just seems pretty cold.
I believe that no relatives are allowed at Dover, whether military or civilian. This is a long-standing rule from the first Gulf War. It is impossible to do security on grieving relatives without causing further trouble for them, and bad apples could get on the base as well. He is not being singled out.