[AlbionGirl]

he's the one with the hare lip and the Redman habit - a terrible sight to those what never seen it - but those of us that know him, we just look the other way during supper-

Well, of course, it's family, isn't it? I've got an intrestin' story too, along similar lines, well, sort of. My cousin, Giovanna Teresa Stella Dora, also has a hair lip, we try to tell her electrolysis has come way down in price, she just doesn't seem interested. More's the pity, as it's really hard to gaze upon that lustrous head of hair balancin' so well on her upper lip.

[Tennessee_Bob]

Now, when you come down here to sit on the porch, you'll have to ask her to stay up there - if you don't mind - it's for her own safety. We've got sparrows and jays around here that love to make meals of wooly worms - and if they see something like that - they might just mob her. Course, that might be a sight to see to - I'll have to fetch the video camera back from Jimmy Earl - he says he knows he's going to get some pictures of the skunk ape that's supposed to be roaming the woods round these parts. Course, those of us what knows Jimmy Earl knows that he's just looking to peep in folks's windows at night. Well, that is, he used to. One night, he peeped in at the wrong one - and there was Widder Henderson doing her Tai Bo in the buff. Now, if you don't knwo Widder Henderson, you have to understand - her full-ton ford creaks something terrible when she climbs in - she's always trying to put the blame for the unusual wear on the left side tires on Billy Ray down at the Texaco - but we all know Billy Ray knows his stuff when it comes to alignments. After all, he graduated from 12th grade before he went to the vo-tech. Anyway, after peeking in, Jimmy Earl claimed he'd been struck blind by the hand of God, but we're pretty sure that it was just that his eyeballs had panicked and the lids just wouldn't listen to the brain for awhile. He claims a miracle brought his sight back, but that's only cause of the ruckus that got kicked up (along with Jimmy Earl) when he tried to milk the bull that got in the wrong stall up at the barn.

[TheLurkerX]

Why, she just needs ta marry a dadgummed bald man, perty near ta lip high, and she'll be good ta go.

I'd still like to know the origin of "I'll swan." My great-grandmother used to use it as a statement of disbelief. Best I can think of, it's a bastardization of "I'll swoon."