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I am the very model of a presidential candidate,
From character to senator I know when to assassinate
I lobby for the victims of injustice and adversities
And care for those disabled when compared to my abilities.
I've slept with movie stars and yachted with the Kennedys,
I've copied their initials and shared in their amenities;
And in the field of foreign wars my service is distinguished
Just as soon as all the ugly rumors are extinguished.

Just as soon as all the ugly rumors are extinguished.
Just as soon as all the ugly rumors are extinguished.
Just as soon as all the ugly rumors are extinguished.

I'm boarded prepped and schooled in snowy Switzerland,
My haircuts and my facials put me out at least a grand
My visage in the mirror never ceases to me fascinate
I am the very model of a presidential candidate.

In short his visage never ceases to him fascinate
He is the very model of a presidential candidate.

I married very well, I did, and married nearly twice,
The first was just for practice though the kids they say are nice.
My first wife though depressive and annulled is still a friend,
My second wife is richer still and is a major brand.
Opinions, like my marriages, I always form in pairs,
I'm married to ideas when they belong to millionaires;
So right and wrong are nuanced and I have my haws and hems,
I'll never rush to judgment like Lord Hamlet on the Thames.

He'll never rush to judgment like Lord Hamlet on the Thames.
He'll never rush to judgment like Lord Hamlet on the Thames.
He'll never rush to judgment like Lord Hamlet on the Thames.

I am the very model of a presidential candidate
In matters war and peaceful I can spin and vacillate
When I am president at last, we will surely will have peace
Unless the right wing leader of some Haiti or some Greece
Stirs up an insurrection that requires my attention
Or extra votes are needed just before the next election.
In which case I will castigate severely the aggressor.
Or maybe delegate the task to the U.N. or my successor.

Or maybe delegate the task to the U.N. or his successor.
Or maybe delegate the task to the U.N. or his successor.
Or maybe delegate the task to the U.N. or his successor.