Posted on 05/04/2004 8:41:41 PM PDT by dutchess
Four All Who Reed and Right
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Let's face it,
English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant,
nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends,
but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?
If teachers taught,
why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play
and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
your house can burn up as it burns down;
in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
~Author Unknown
**LadyX is choking up, and is afraid to ask, but does that mean someone has pushed our dear Thin Man over the edge, and he now is an angel patrolling the skies above The Finest??!!**
Shame on you dutchess for worrying LadyX so!
I'm fine, Lady. FreeTheSausages did make an attempt early today to push me over the edge but it failed.
LOL! It looks like Billie's scheme to change me backfired.
Thank goodness I checked one more time on your status, T Man!!
Now I shall be able to slumber with serenity, knowing all is well....
How heartwarming it is to have Wolfie acknowledge the positive influence you have had on him..:))
Yes, yes - all is well - all is well - -
Good night to the Finest - - -
My life's been in a bit of a turmoil of late so I've been taking the easy way out, but I *promise* that won't happen again. You deserve *better* than that [[[[[{{{{{(((((Louie_Wolfie_Man)))))}}}}}]]]]]
Yes I do! LOL
Nah, I know how busy you are, dansy, don't make any special effort.
((((((dansy))))))
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