[sailor4321]

Why couldn't they be used for border patrol?

[dufekin]

That would violate the rules of the border patrol, which are as follows:

1. In no case whatsoever shall more than one border patrol office be stationed on any given mile of border, on average. A single border-patrol officer may be assigned a segment of border as long as several hundred miles.

2. Border patrol officers shall not be permitted to use any surveillance equipment--not even flashlights or prescription eyeglasses--beyond that with which they are biologically equipped. Nor may they use any communications equipment.

3. Border patrol officers may not use guns or any other weapons, nor may they physically restrain border crossers.

4. Border patrol officers shall not be permitted any animal companions or mechanized vehicles. This ban includes motor vehicles, jeeps, sport utility vehicles, rovers, cop cars, bicycles, dogs, cats, horses, donkeys, and camels.

5. Should a border patrol officer detect a border crosser, the officer may ask the crosser his or her citizenship. All American citizens (determined through verbal declaration) must be permitted to cross the border unmolested, although they may be asked politely to go through customs at the earliest convenience.

6. If the citizenship of a border crosser cannot be ascertained, whether by silence or because of a linguistic barrier, American citizenship must be assumed.

7. The sole, exclusive, and complete remedy for Mexican illegal immigrants is to escort them 100 yards on the Mexican side of the border and respectfully request that they refrain from further crossing.

8. The sole, exclusive, and complete remedy for any non-Mexican illegal immigrant is to respectfully request that they attend a voluntary hearing to determine their status at a federal courthouse corresponding to the appropriate section of border. There shall be no consequences for failure to appear in court.

9. Border patrol is responsible for the physical and mental wellbeing of all crossers, regardless of legality, and for ensuring their protection against heat, thirst, hunger, cold, snow, exposure, rattlesnakes, and any other maladies that may infect them. Officers must render any and all necessary medical care at their own private expense, and shall presume that all crossers needing medical care are legal. The officer bears personal responsibility for the welfare of crossers throughout his or her entire zone, whether or not they may be detected.

10. If a suspected illegal border crosser gets more than 100 yards within America, the Border Patrol may not pursue and may not report the person to any other agency or authority. The officer shall keep this information in confidence for a minimum of seven days before officer may reveal it on any paperwork.

11. Border Patrol should avoid notorious criminals and drug-runners. They are free to operate at large in California with impunity.

I think I got all that. Remember, the Border Patrol misses millions of people every year! They can't keep that record if they got good technology to keep the border secure from illegal immigrants, terrorists, and everyone else who wants to cross. And we don't want to listen to the whining that secure borders would generate.