Posted on 04/27/2004 1:54:15 PM PDT by JennysCool
BOSTON -- Seeking to reach the black voter, Sen. John Kerry has called upon one of his Democrat rivals, the Rev. Al Sharpton, to assist his troubled campaign.
"I have always been impressed with Al's quick wit and his refreshing spin on the issues," Kerry said. "I also think he offers a real understanding of hip hop, which continues to fascinate me at least as much as it did last month."
Kerry said Rev. Sharpton's role in his campaign would be to "provide a bridge" to African Americans who may not yet have heard his message, "I was in Vietnam, fo shizzle."
"What I see is a literal big tent outside my personal appearance venues," Kerry intoned. "Here, hip hop, in all its social energy and poetry, may be freely gotten jiggy with by young people with consonants for last names, while the important issues like President Bush's National Guard service may be considered, and my own service -- mah nizzle was in Vietnam -- contrasted with his."
To that end, Kerry said, "I feel the presence of the Rev. Sharpton would be essential. Picture it, if you will, this strong leader of the black community dressed in a jagged metal suit, with his expressive face poking out of it and speaking in the very popular 'rap street lingo' about the things that matter most to Americans: my brave, selfless Swift Boat captaincy; the dangers of pitched fighting in the Mekong Delta -- located in Vietnam -- and my harrowing injuries, which led to my receiving some of the most bling bling combat medals and ribbons -- which were, let's all remember, interchangeable, yo."
The candidate said Sharpton would be billed as "'The Reverend Al Shrapnel'. It is a clever pun which would not only reflect Al's charming flava, but also remind the -- I believe the expression is 'playas and hos' -- of my daring service, which was all that and included being 'fragged in the booty' by vicious Vietnamese guerilla gangsta thugs."
Rev. Sharpton could not immediately be reached for comment, but a spokeswoman said Sharpton would likely be too busy "in the near and, my dear sweet God, most likely very, very, very far future" to participate in Sen. Kerry's outreach program.
Courting the Korean grocer vote?
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