You Know You Are A Freeper When.....

April 13, 2004 | LadyShallott

[LadyShallott]

You Know You Are A Freeper When......

You have family members post for you because you have lost all sensation in your right hand from to much mouse usage.

You aren't sure what this "daylight" thing is, but you know you haven't seen it since 1998.

You seriously think about ramming the car in front of you when you see a liberal bumper sticker.

You spend your time finding pictures of John Kerry & morph him into a two-headed ketchup alien.

You try to figure out a way to write a program that would allow you to make love with your spouse and read the breaking news at the same time.

When you and your spouse get into an argument it comes out "Removed by Admin. Moderator".

You asked for a wireless connection at your baby shower. Who needs a baby monitor? Watching the baby and posting is just FR practicality.

You have picked out not only your child’s name, but their screen name for future use at Free Republic.

You told your spouse you were pregnant by listing it under “Breaking News”.

You have shunned the Atkins Diet and chosen to go on the “Freeper” diet: Coffee, smokes, and target practice.

You want to sit in a cage at a PETA rally while smoking, eating a hamburger, drinking coffee and hand out Free Republic coffee mugs.

And last but not least……..

You know you are a married to a Freeper when you can talk about anything going on in the world, you display the American Flag with pride, and you pray for the Troops defending this great country. Chance 33_98, I love ya!

[Allegra]

A true FReeper uses FR as their primary source of news.

There is no better place to get comprehensive, up-to-the-minute news coverage.

And when you do something looney like I have and move waaayyy far away to another century and all, FR is a lifeline.

[LadyShallott]

You have been Officially crowned Cyber-Godmother. THANK YOU! That is so sweet. If another little Freeper joins the family I will ping you. :). As a mother I would be more than happy to send pics of the little redheaded angel we have now. LOL

[Johnny Gage]

You seriously think about ramming the car in front of you when you see a liberal bumper sticker

You see a liberal bumper sticker, you yell ZOT! and start calling for the "The Viking Kitties"

[chance33_98]

You watch the evening news only to discover you read about all the stories last week on FR, and you have a better grasp of the details than the news anchor does.

Or even - you watch the evening news and you suspect they are reading your FR threads as they finally reported a story you posted awhile back.

[LadyShallott]

You are a Freeper...give it time. :)

[LadyShallott]

you watch the evening news and you suspect they are reading your FR threads as they finally reported a story you posted awhile back.
Luke????

[mitchbert]

...you keep important work items you need to revisit in a Desktop folder named "Bump for Later."

[proud American in Canada]

great list!

I would add this:

when your friends and family get tired of the endlessly-forwarded FR news threads. :)

I sent my liberal sister the hilarious "Caption this, John Effin' Kerry rockin' out on the guitar" thread started by NYC GOP Chick. My sister didn't seem to think it was that funny. :)

[Cooter]

Your office mates come to you for breaking news.

[netmilsmom]

You have FReepmail!

[biblewonk]

News is just no fun if you can't get in a fight with someone over it.

[ken5050]

LOL......kewl..most excellent...

FYI...if you watch C-span 2 with your spouse, you can enjoy "intimate" moments during the Senate quorum calls, andn they play superb classical music to boot...OTOH..if, in the thralls of passion, Ted Kennedy or Robert Byrd takes the floor, well, it can really, really, REALLY inhibit things...

[LadyShallott]

OTOH..if, in the thralls of passion, Ted Kennedy or Robert Byrd takes the floor, well, it can really, really, REALLY inhibit things...


I view it as natural birth control. LOL

[GreenLanternCorps]

ROTFLMAO!!!

[ken5050]

among others things....BTW...have you noticed lately that Byrd seems to be really losing it....many old people deteriorate very rapidly...his palsy is more pronounced, and last week it seemed that he lost track of where he was in the midst of talking...methinks he'd like to expire right on the senate floor, on C-span...as for Ted, I'd love to have a BP cuff on him while he speaks....

[GreenLanternCorps]

You name your daughter JimRob...

You complain to your boss that this work stuff is getting in the way of freeping...

[#1CTYankee]

You hook up your laptop, sit in a chair next to your wife (In a hospital bed) and continue posting while she gives birth

See Post titled having a baby.

[LadyShallott]

Hey girl. You have several emails. Via the other email account. :)

[GottaLuvAkitas1]

You Know You Are A Freeper When......

You know it is not *real news* unless it is posted on Free Republic.

[LadyShallott]

Not sure if you are kidding or not. My husband would be in trouble if that happened. But true Freepers never slack. War breaking out and a new birth...Oh the Conundrum. LOL