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Another email joke from dada inlaw

Subject: Great "roast" taunts

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -Thomas Beckett Reed

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder