[scab4faa]

One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry costs a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get were those big, yellow ones..." -Abe

[visualops]

I hear thunder in the distance.

[Cultural Jihad]

Bye Mom

This guy goes into a supermarket and this old lady is staring at him in a sad way. Through out the store the old lady is there wherever he turns! She is sad and still staring at him. Then the guy goes to purchase his things. The old lady is in front of him!

She says," My son died a few years ago. You look so much like him. On the way out of the store I'll wave and can you say "Bye Mom" for me?"

The guy feels sorry for her so he agrees.

As the lady waves, he shouts, "Bye Mom!".

When he is getting ringed up the cashier says, "That will be $567.65 sir."

He says, "How can it be that much? I'm only buying 7 things!"

The cashier replies, "Your mom said that you'd pay."