Slightly Documented Worker Status awarded to Illegal aliens crossing Mexico-US Border (Humor)

3/27/04 | Mr. Fine

[MrFine]

Illegal Immigrants Given "Slightly Documented Worker Status".

[MrFine]

On Friday, officials in California reached a compromise with conservative legislators who had been resisting the wholesale granting of rights to illegal aliens entering California. In a rare convergence of interests, both liberal and conservative legislators want to allow millions of Mexican Citizens into California. The primary reason for the liberals interest is simply, more democrats to vote for them. The reason for the conservatives interests is to have more workers available to drive the cost of labor down in California to make business more competitive with other regions. So, after round the clock negotiations, a bill was hammered out allowing for a new and unique form of resident alien status for workers entering Californias borders. The new status is termed: "Slightly Documented Worker". Mexicans entering Californias borders will first be required to present a picture identification or a twenty dollar bill. After verification of the twenty, the person is issued a Slightly Documented Worker card, a California drivers license, a ticket to Disneyland, a Walmart employment application, and a pair of simulated shiny leather pants two sizes too small. Transportation will be made available to take the slightly documented worker to either a voter registration center, or a sweatshop where they can begin their career immediately as an indentured servant. The Governors spokesman, Gary Coleman, was quoted as saying "what you talkin about willis"..... This non sequiter comment reflects the growing perception of Californians that the governor is more than a little unconcerned with the issues facing the golden state today. In a related story, a man seen in front of a Walmart in Clovis, California today was mistaken for Elvis Presley. When shoppers began to mob the hapless Elvis clone demanding his autograph and underwear, it rapidly became apparent that the hapless individual was in fact a slightly documented worker attempting to apply for a job. This became obvious when after being groped and pulled on by large sweaty women in a state of near hysteria, the man began to scream out "no habla engles, donde es mi trabajo!!!!" Walmart security dispersed the mob and helped the man, later identified as Guillermo Besamacula, into the offices where he was able to complete his application with the help of an interpreter.

[goldstategop]

LOL! I know an article straight out of The Onion when I see it! On the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised if they come up with such a politically correct category one of these days. Satire usually precedes reality.

[breakem]

slightly documented? That sounds like some of my homework in high school. LOL!

[PRND21]

Slightly paragraphed newbie vanity alert!

[GeronL]

Slightly documented???

What does that mean??

[GeronL]

MrFine forgot to add (Humor Vanity)

[breakem]

Mexicans entering Californias borders will first be required to present a picture identification or a twenty dollar bill. After verification of the twenty, the person is issued a Slightly Documented Worker card, a California drivers license, a ticket to Disneyland, a Walmart employment application, and a pair of simulated shiny leather pants two sizes too small.

It's for YUKS.

[breakem]

please tell me you really don't need a humor alert.

[GeronL]

Hey, I saw the headline and I would not put it above a liberal judge to create a whole new category of immigration status.

[Marine Inspector]

IMMIGRATION FROM A BORDER PATROLMAN'S HOLSTER: PART I