Personnel Crisis Looming, Army Spouses Say

Washington Post ^ | 03/28/04 | Thomas E. Ricks

[Pokey78]

As Soldiers and Their Families Tire of Extended Deployments, Reenlistment May Fall, Survey Shows

CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. -- Patty B. Morgan's husband was fighting in Iraq with the 101st Airborne and she was caring for two children by herself. Their lease was expiring and they had committed to buying a house across town, so she was going through with the move anyway.

One hot morning last July, as she was about to drive boxes to the new place, she walked outside, infant car seat in hand, and opened the garage door -- to find that her green Jeep had been stolen.

A few days later, she was told that her husband wouldn't be home by Labor Day, as she had expected, but would serve in Iraq six months more, for a total of a year.

"It was a hell of a week," Morgan said in her throaty voice.

Morgan's experience is part of a significant change in Army life brought about by the war on terrorism: The extended, or repeated, deployments that characterize the post-9/11 Army have intensified the burdens traditionally borne by military families. And most of the spouses who have remained behind are wondering how long the Army can keep it up.

This change is reflected in a recent poll conducted by The Washington Post, the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation and Harvard University, and in dozens of supplemental interviews. The poll, the first nongovernmental survey of military spouses conducted after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, included more than 1,000 spouses living on or near the 10 heaviest-deploying Army bases.

[strongbow]

Hey I am retired USAF and been there myself. My partner is also retired USAF and I am blessed to have his consent on giving these deserving families a break. These folks have my unreserved appreciation and they deserve all the credit, I got it easy by comparison.

[dpa5923]

My wife has dealt with numerous deployments and separations. My children knew my seabag as Daddy’s going away bag. My wife is not a complainer and has chided many military wives for acting foolish while their husbands were gone. My wife and I live by a simple adage, "We weren't the first to go through this, and we won't be the last."

I know you didn't mean to imply anything. I just wanted you and everyone else to know not all military wives are wimps. Some are tough as nails. My wife is one tough broad who has help raised 3 tough kids.

As you are well aware of, the press will only highlight the negative and try and pull at heartstrings. I will show this article to my wife, just to get her riled up.

[CalKat]

This article states the sample did not include Reserves or National Guard.

[Dianna]

I just don't think the sacrifice is so so so so terrible for these military spouses.

Really? You're a single parent. Are you doing that for me? Nope, that is just the way your life is. These families are missing their men because their men are busy keeping YOU safe. Sorry that you can't appreciate that.

I guess instead of being compassionate and helping out if you can, we'll just let them struggle so their men quit.

[Dianna]

I know you didn't mean to imply anything. I just wanted you and everyone else to know not all military wives are wimps. Some are tough as nails. My wife is one tough broad who has help raised 3 tough kids.

I was a Navy wife for 8 years and rarely met wives who were truly whiny. But it can be hard (I imagine) when it seems everything is going wrong, AND your husband is off fighting a war. I don't begrudge these women a few tears or complaints. The second it is out of their system, their spines stiffen and they get on with life.

I appreciate them giving up time with their husbands, birthdays, anniversaries and holidays so that my children aren't forced to be Muslim.

[Capriole]

. . .we'll just let them struggle so their men quit.

My question is, what's the big struggle? Millions of us do it all the time. Being alone is not fun, and it can be hard at time. But it's just not that big a deal, and I do not know what all the whining and hand-wringing is about. They should consider themselves lucky that someday their men are going to come home.

The ones I do feel sorry for are the ones who lose their husbands to death. Those are the women who deserve our assistance and sympathy.

[jocon307]

"Polly, you have to remember this: we didn't know whether or not we would win."

That is very profound, and I'm afraid it is still true today. I'm not sure we can beat the Islamofacists, what with the multi-cluti political correctness, with the victim mindset so well displayed in this article, with the loss of faith in our Judeo-Christian (NOT MUSLIM) culture and religions.

A little more fear and a lot less whining would do us all a lot of good. That and more dead Muslim Terrorists, of course!

[Dianna]

My question is, what's the big struggle? Millions of us do it all the time.

I can only speak for myself and my experience with a military spouse who was never gone for even 6 months at a time. The struggle is that for most of the time you have someone who deals with the car, takes out the trash, gives baths, etc. Now in addition to having to take on these extra chores themselves, they're also worrying about their husbands being killed and trying to make explanations and excuses to their children.

Your struggle is one that goes on regardless. Their lives COULD be easier, if their men were home. My husband left the Navy, mostly because he wanted to spend more time with his family. I was willing to have him stay in, but I am vastly relieved and have very much enjoyed NOT having to do it all myself. Leaving the Navy was one of the best decisions, for our family, that he ever made. People who CHOOSE to stay because they are dedicated to fight for our freedom deserve our respect. They could easily choose differently, which leaves us all less choices (referring to a draft).

[Jeff Gordon]

This article states the sample did not include Reserves or National Guard.

Sorry. I do not "subscribe" thus I was not able to read the article. The pdf file provided did not mention the Guard being excluded.

[squidly]

I'd say the WP is inventing news. Some percentage of military spouses have been bitching as long as there have been military spouses. Retention rates have not been adversely affected by the WOT, and surveys of the military personnel, not the military wives, have shown that they probably won't be anytime soon.

But if the WP wants to go find some disgruntled military spouses to interview, they can always do that. They could have done that before Iraq and Afghanistan.