[HighWheeler]

Only on Southwest Airlines . . . . .

A mother and her 5 year old boarded a plane, and he asked why there were no baby airplanes. After all, he knew there were baby horses and baby sheep and baby dogs and baby cats: why not baby airplanes?

“Why don’t you go ask the flight attendant?” suggested the mother.

So off the boy goes, and puts his question to the flight attendant.

She takes a breath, smiles and asks, “Did your mommy say you should ask me that?”

The boy nods his head yes.

“Well, you tell her it’s because we always pull out on time. Ask her to explain that to you.”

[The Coopster]

Bump..

[handk]

...but as a former AF airplane driver myself...

Come again? You were an "airplane driver?

Since I only operate motor vehicles, I guess that makes me a "car pilot".

[Gunrunner2]

1994:
On a F-15E Strike Eagle cross-country flight one weekend, stopped for fuel at the St Louis Guard (St Louis Airport). Gear problem on take-off—would not raise, which, all things considered, is better than it not coming down.
Anyway, flew around dumped gas over St Louis and landed.
Taxied to McDonnell-Douglas for repairs. They built that darned thing, after all.
Next day, as I was conducting walk-around pre-flight inspection and WSO was in FBO filing flight plan, MGM grand 737 pulled up and Garth Brooks gets off the jet.
He sends his advance man over to us to ask if Garth can take a look in the jet.
“Of course” I reply, and I get the canopy bracer tool out of the travel pod. (This tool is used as a back-up to prevent the canopy from dropping down and cutting you in half. Wouldn’t do for an Air Force jet to chop Garth in half.)
Unfortunately, Garth is whisked away by hundreds of other advance men and he doesn't get a chance to sit in the seat of the Cadillac jet.
Fine, I remove the canopy bracer tool and place it back in the travel pod under the jet (looks like a napalm canister.)
I do not have the tool to secure the door, but my thumbnail works to get one srew set and holds the door closed.
Anyway, I get in the jet and soon the WSO walks up. He disappears under the jet (I think he is securing the travel pod. He has the tool. I was wrong.)
He gets in the jet, we fire it up, taxi for take-off and I get clearance for unrestricted climb to 27,000’. Sweet.
Full AB on take-off roll, suck the gear up at 6 inches from the ground, keeping the jet on the deck, going through 400 knots by end of runway and WHAM. . .I pull the stick back into my lap, 7 G’s as I point the jet vertical and zoom for the moon.
What a cool airshow departure for the civilian’s at the airport.
Cool, except that when I yanked back the stick, the travel pod door popped open and all our clothes came out. . .shoes, jeans, shirts, dirty underwear, the works.
We didn’t know it had happened until ATC Center called and said, “Strike 11, St Louis Tower called and is asking if you want medium starch on your shirts.”
Doh!!
Needless to say, my squadron commander (“Dirtball”—and he was one too), was not pleased.

[Libertina]

LOLOL thanks, humor is needed every once in a while! :)