[Havoc]

And why did Jesus say to the good thief, “Indeed, I promise you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (LK 22:43) Is that good thief just rotting mindlessly in his grave? Or does today not mean today, or paradise mean a rotting death?

Where he was matters not a whit to the argument. The issue is whether he is physically dead or physically alive. Ecclesiastes addresses this dead on. You haven't asked a valid question with any bearing and yet you think it deserves some answer. When I give you one you ignore it and say I haven't answered. Throw your stone and be done with it or heed the scripture.