David 'HALFFINGER', David MidFinger, David Halfwit, etc. Then there's the headline;
KETCHUM, Idaho, — John Kerry was in the air, his private jet approaching the Continental Divide, the candidate who often straddles both sides of political divides was wrestling with the big matter at hand.
Should he ski, or snowboard? Or maybe try both at the same-time? He gave no clue where he stood, as he's clueless on most issues. But that was Wednesday night, and he was drunk.
A longtime private nurse recently suggested that there were two John Kerrys: "Psycho John and Not-So-Psycho-John" — one who agonizes over decisions, like when to go the bathroom and another who acts boldly, won't 'hold it' and DOES go to the bathroom.
It was 'Psycho' John, who emerged from an armored SUV at his 8,500 square foot mansion here on Thursday morning, outfitted in a blue straight jacket while sipping a bottle of cheap gin through a straw. From the rear of the vehicle a Secret Service Agent pulled out his weathered old wife - who was also drunk, and for most of the day he proceeded to swig gin while the locals yelled out and called him a phony, pinko-COMMIE TRAITOR.
'Psycho' John would have none of that as he was in Vietnam. So he threw his empty gin bottle at one of the locals from his terrace and ordered a SS agent to shoot the heckler. John's nurse then quickly ushered him off to the bedroom as it was time for John's 'medication'.
Yep, this article has possibilities...
Kerry Tumbles Through Extreme Sports Trip …Reporters counted six falls