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"The Wreck Of the John F’n Kerry!!"
(To be sung to "The Wreck Of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot)
Parody by LonePalm

The legend lives on from the Kennedys on down
Of the island they called ‘Chappaquiddick'
The voters it’s said, never vote for the dead
When the Polls of November turn gloomy.
With baggage galore, some twenty-six hundred votes more
Than the John F’n Kerry cast rightly.
His candidacy too was a bone to be chewed
When the Polls of November came early.

This hack was the pride of the Democrat side
Sounding like some rich twit from South Boston.
As the big pant loads go, he is bigger than most
But not quite as big as ole Teddy.
He was headed down hill when he took a bad spill
But he blamed it on the Secret Service.
And later that night when the cell phone rang
Could it be that Bill Clinton was callin'?

His words through the wires were a sickening sound
“You need a VP with some standing.”
And every man knew, and the candidate too,
T’was the witch of the Senate come stealin’.
The dawning came late and the campaign had to wait
When the Polls of November came slashin'.
With summer’s hot blast there was a shortage of cash
In the face of a popular George Bush.

Convention time came, the Rat pack came on stage, sayin',
“Johnny, we’re right here behind ya.”
On October 9 WMDs were found, they said
“Johnny, it's been good t'know ya.”
Then MoveOn wired in they had voters comin' in
But the party and John were in peril.
On election night when his hopes sank outta sight
Came the wreck of the John F’n Kerry.

Does any one know where the voters all go
When your ads turn the minutes to hours?
With a positive push by Cheney and Bush
Rove had put fifteen more states behind them.
Dems have to split up or they might just downsize;
They all may turn Green and vote Nader.
And all that remains is the faces and the claims
Of the unions, the gays and the squatters.

Democrats sulk; Republicans sing
And Dubya’s judges soon will be confirmed.
Old Hillary steams while she plots and schemes;
She can’t wait for ’08 to get here.
And farther below DU still blows
They whine and throw fits in their despair,
FreeRepublic will host as the FReepers all post
With the Polls of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in the District they whined,
At the Democrat National Committee.
A tinny bell chimed till it rang two or three times
For each state won by John F’n Kerry.
The legend lives on from the Chappaqua on down
Of the cold fish they call 'Bitchy Gloomy.'
Hillary, they said, never gives up for dead
When the Polls of November come early!

Lyrics by LonePalm

Very nice, my talented FRiend...MUD