FReeper Canteen ~ Military Short Speak ~ March 15, 2004

Canteen Crew ~ StarCMC

[Kathy in Alaska]

I had to come back to work to get some rest! I'm fine. Snow all morning, but sunshine now. OK, back to work.

Hi Caitlin!

[tiamat]

Caitlin says: " Thank you! "

Glad the sun is out for you!

[stand watie]

SADLY, the answer is YES!

free dixie,sw

[stand watie]

i've always heard that it was fun to be a HOOT!

never have seen one howsomeever!

free dixie,sw

[tiamat]

No kidding!

Sending this one out!

Thanks, Star!

[stand watie]

DEFINITELY!

make that SOUTHRON! there is a difference!

free the southland,sw

[stand watie]

food's TERRIBLE!

and i've seen CHEERLEADERS lots of times, thus it is NOT a place i hang out.<P.free dixie,sw

[stand watie]

HI!

free dixie,sw

[StarCMC]

LOL!!! One of our clients was swearing to hubby last week that the food's great and the girls really aren't dressed to revealingly. We both got a laugh out of THAT one -- you just confirmed it! :o)

[stand watie]

they REALLY AREN'T dressed "too revealingly".

a rather plain pair of orange short-shorts & a white & orange teeshirt.

you'll see MANY better looking females on any street in any town/city/state down south.

BUT the food IS bad AND EXPENSIVE (for what you get.) in every one i've ever been in. (i used to "entertain" clients there when i was in the magazine biz.)

free dixie,sw

[StarCMC]

Won't have to worry about me wasting my money there! LOL!! :o)

[StarCMC]

- What He Says- What He Really Means !



"I'm going fishing."
Really means: "I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh-huh." "Sure, honey." "Yes, dear."
Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means: "I have no idea how it works."

"We're going to be late."
Really means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means: "Are you still talking?"

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means: "Please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

[StarCMC]

Things Dumb People Have Done ...


1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

2. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

3. A young teller was new to the job when she was approached by her first robber. Noticing that the man's grammar was not the greatest, the teller figured that the would be criminal was slightly slow. She told the robber that he had to have an account to rob a bank. Disappointed, the man left.

4. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.


5. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

6. A criminal who broke into a couple's house started to take the TV, but instead he turned it on and began to watch. He supposedly liked the program that was on and laid down on the bed. Since it was at night he was tired and fell asleep. So when the couple came home the next day they found him and called the police.

7. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.


8. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

9. David Posman, 33, was arrested in Providence, Rhode Island, after knocking out an armored car driver and stealing four bags of money. Each bag contained $800 dollars. However, the bags weighed thirty pounds each since they all contained pennies. The hefty bags slowed the fleeting criminal to a sluggish stagger. Police easily ran down and arrested the suspect.

10. A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.


11. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

and last but not least...

12. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

[StarCMC]

[StarCMC]

,img src=http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/picturejokes/15833.gif>

[StarCMC]

[StarCMC]

Whoops!! Try that again!!

[HiJinx]

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

Also means: "We've been together way too long for me to break in somebody new."
(Of course, that could also be "too long for you to break in somebody new!")

[StarCMC]

Where do pets come from?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him
DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't give a sh** one way or the other.

[StarCMC]

LOL!!!

Hi Jinxie!!

How are you today??

Thanks for all the Acronym help!

FReepmail in a minute!

HUGS!!