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As it happens, the only big political ''lie'' in recent days came from Kerry, who told a meeting in Florida, ''I've met foreign leaders who can't go out and say this publicly, but boy, they look at you and say, 'You've got to win this, you've got to beat this guy.' '' The senator has spent most of the last year in Iowa and New Hampshire, which, for all their charms, are not where one goes to rub shoulders with ''foreign leaders.'' Jacques Chirac could have driven over the Granite State border from Quebec's Eastern Townships, where he was vacationing last summer. But he didn't. Kerry does not appear to have ''looked at'' any foreign leaders since he began his campaign.

This has been captured in The John Kerry Songbook as follows:

I CAN'T SAY THEIR NAMES ("A Horse With No Name")

For the first part of the campaign
I was fighting for my life
There was Gephardt, Clark, that welfare queen,
Sharpton, Edwards, and Dean
The next thing I knew was that I had no buzz
About foreign policy
So I made up a story and said that other
World leaders would vote for me

I've got foreign support but I can't say their names
It just one of the rules of the game
But believe me, it all works out the same
'Cause the media won't point a finger of blame
La, la...

After going through my schedule
No such meetings could be found
Even though it was a load of bull
My reasoning was sound
I've got the support of ev'ry dictator
The whole wide world around

I've got foreign support but I can't say their names
It just one of the rules of the game
But believe me, it all works out the same
'Cause the media won't point a finger of blame
La, la...

For Mugabe, Castro, And Aristede
I am the person they need
Same for Saddam Hussien and Kim-Il-Jong
And don't forget the Viet Cong
Terrorists could come out from underground
To strike at the lands of the free
All the while, I won't make any sound
Until the UN orders me

I've got foreign support but I can't say their names
It just one of the rules of the game
But believe me, it all works out the same
'Cause the media won't point a finger of blame
La, la...