[ChefKeith]

Signs You're Staying at a NASCAR Hotel:

Nightly turn-down service includes a little tin of Skoal left on your pillow.

For every night you stay, your sister stays with you free.

The sports bar has a Jeff Gordon dart board.

Potpourri in the bathroom smells of scorched tires.

The Bible in your night stand has illustrations of all the begetting.

The hallways are full of rednecks on lawn chairs with coolers and the BBQ pits are there too, setting off the Fire Alarm.

For religious guests, a statuette of a haloed Dale Earnhardt is provided in every room.

A team of eight maids gets your room cleaned in 13 seconds flat, while you're still in bed.

Some guy who's missing a few teeth keeps screaming at you to "scrub harder", while you're in the shower.

The "VRROOOMM service" menu? Nothin' but biscuits 'n' gravy.

Pick-up lines in the cocktail lounge usually include the term "pole sitter."

The "Magic Fingers" bed vibrates about 10 times too fast, drowns out anything less than a shout and occasionally rolls over and bursts into flames.

The mini-bar is stocked with pork rinds, Velveeta, Slim Jims and Budweiser/Bud Light.

"Here's your room key, sir. To get to your suite, go to the end of the hall and turn left, then left again, then take a left, then...."

When newlyweds consummate their marriage in the honeymoon suite, a checkered flag drops from the ceiling and they're expected to do a victory lap in the lobby.

[umgud]

Don't forget the Viagra in the nightstand.

[umgud]

Don't forget the Viagra in the nightstand.

[alancarp]

Hotel courtesy buses go to the track, not the airport.

[Pete-R-Bilt]

When newlyweds consummate their marriage in the honeymoon suite, a checkered flag drops from the ceiling and they're expected to do a victory lap in the lobby.

as long as its not a polish victory lap, you know backw... aw never mind... you know