Posted on 03/04/2004 11:48:01 AM PST by JohnnyZ
When it comes to keen political instincts, Florida House Speaker Johnnie Byrd makes Mel Brooks' dithering Gov. LePetomaine in ``Blazing Saddles'' look like a founding father. As brilliant strategic maneuvers go, Byrd has pulled off the Tallahassee equivalent of Howard Dean deciding to turn into Carrot Top on the night of the Iowa caucuses.
During an interview last week with the quill pens of the editorial board here at the Ministry of Truth, Byrd somehow concluded it would be a good idea to treat fellow House Republicans as so many lawn jockeys - on the eve of the legislative session, no less.
``They're like sheep in a way,'' the speaker said of his colleagues. ``They're looking for someone to tell them what to do.''
Uh-huh, only days before the start of lame duck Byrd's last session as speaker, he alienates even members of his own party by characterizing them as little more than barnyard acolytes lost in the wilderness without his leadership.
That's the bad news.
The good news for Republicans - many of whom in private regard the speaker as Ernst Blofeld meets Elmer Gantry - is that in just two short, blessed months, after the session ends and he loses his political power, Byrd will become less relevant than a piano tuner at a 50 Cent concert.
Little Bo Peep
Come about May 1 or so, when the speaker becomes clout challenged, it would not be surprising if Byrd's campaign contributions for his run to succeed retiring U.S. Sen. Bob Graham begin to dry up faster than Kobe Bryant's endorsement deals.
After all, you know a political race is doomed to Alf Landon-like proportions when your campaign slogan is: ``Johnnie Byrd! Klaatu Barada Nikto!''
For some reason, Byrd, R- Area 51, singled out state Rep. Sandra Murman of Tampa as a member of his flock who needed particular herding.
He spoke of how the Little Bo Peep of the Apalachee Parkway had ``embarrassed some Republican members'' by supporting a federal grant for women's health education.
He had responded by diluting her influence as chairwoman of the rules committee for having the audacity to be in favor of using some federal dollars to further the obviously socialist notion of women's health.
One Proud Papa
Also in the interview, showing all the political urbanity of Robert Mugabe, the speaker repeated his assertions that fellow Republicans such as Senate President Jim King were little more than tax-and- spend ne'er-do-wells.
``They're like my daughter in the Navy,'' said Byrd, R-It's ALIVE!!! ``Whatever she gets on Friday, she spends. It's gone by Saturday.''
Uh, Mr. Speaker? Melane Anne, the daughter you described as being more irresponsible with her paycheck than Mike Tyson, happens to be a U.S. Naval Academy graduate currently training to fly jet fighters.
And you use her to indulge in some lame political demagoguery?
Moving to other topics, Byrd opposed the No Child Left Behind Act, accused King of being ``pro-abortion'' and suggested the long-term goal of government should be eventual elimination of tax-supported school systems as ``the next renaissance in education.''
Byrd, R-Dead Man Campaigning, denied President Bush supports former U.S. Housing and Urban Development Secretary Mel Martinez in the Senate race. But it's more than likely the White House would embrace any candidate who doesn't sleep in a giant pod.
The ``Papillon'' legislative session begins Tuesday, with the GOP sheep marking down the days until they can make a break for it.
Will they celebrate with a yummy leg of lamb?
Or maybe a nice, barbecued horse's patootie, Plant City- style?
If there was ever any doubt that Johnnie Byrd deserves much of the scorn he gets, doubt no longer.
While some of the comments Byrd makes are valid (no public schools, King is a lib) he has a nose for bad PR that is virtually unmatched in politics today.
Which is why someone like Daniel Webster, the previous house speaker and fellow US Senate candidate, is widely respected while Byrd is not.
Bill McCollum 37%
Mel Martinez 15%
Johnnie Byrd 6%
Daniel Webster 5%
Larry Klayman 2%
Bob Smith 1%
Betty Castor 36%
Alex Penelas 19%
Peter Deutsch 18%
McCollum benefits from having the highest favorable name recognition in the field at 32 percent, although he also has the highest negatives at 21 percent. He also outpaces Martinez in Central Florida, home to both men.
http://jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/022904/met_14950090.shtml
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