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Sex too young: Janie's story
TownHall ^ | Mar. 3, 2004 | Ben Shapiro

Posted on 03/03/2004 12:15:48 PM PST by DemWatch

Complete sexual freedom. That was the dream promoted by feminists. The dream has cost America dearly. Several reports released last week -- by Advocates for Youth and the Alan Guttmacher Institute -- conclude that half of all young Americans will get a sexually transmitted disease by age 25.

Sexual liberation was achieved. According to the Sexual Information and Education Council of the United States, 49 percent of women aged 18 to 19 had sex with at least two partners in the year 2002. Eighty-one percent of women aged 20 to 24 in 2002 had become sexually active before the age of 20.

Meanwhile, thousands of unwed mothers aged 15 to 19 give birth each year. Millions of young men and women -- and kids, at 15 years old -- receive genital wart virus, trichomoniasis and chlamydia each year.

But perhaps not every young person having sex is damaged. My friend Janie (name changed to protect her privacy) could be considered a poster child for the sexual dream. Janie, a self-described "typical college student," attends UCLA. She's intelligent, creative and pretty. She's a political and social left-leaning moderate. Janie became sexually active at age 15 (she's now 21) and has slept with five men. She has never become pregnant and has never contracted an STD.

Janie decides to have sex "if I've been dating a guy for a while and we say we love each other." When asked if she would sleep with someone she didn't love, Janie replies "Never, ever ... I was dating a guy for a while, and I really liked him, I even thought I loved him. We dated each other exclusively, but because he wouldn't say he loved me, I wouldn't have sex, and I broke up with him," she explains. What is it about those magic words "I love you"? What if the guy is lying? "I can tell if he means it," Janie says. "I've had guys say they loved me before, but I know they don't mean it. It's intuition."

Her intuition has led her to bed with five different men, but Janie is quick to explain that she doesn't get around: "You have to understand that just because I was having sex when I was 15 doesn't mean I was promiscuous. I've been having sex since I was 15, right? And I'm 21 now, so that's six years, and yet I've only had five partners. You know, that's pretty good compared to other people who started having sex when they were 15."

Janie doesn't regret doing what she's done. She doesn't feel guilty "at all," she states with emphasis. "I do whatever I want, and I've never thought twice about it."

Would Janie's parents be happy with her behavior? Probably not, Janie admits: "My mom always said, 'Don't have sex until you're married.'" Janie calls her parents "conservative in terms of values" but religiously "liberal." Janie's own relationship with God is strained. "I absolutely don't think my behavior is sinful ... I guess I believe more in the laws of human nature -- I'm not a hedonist -- but I believe in the laws of human nature more than I believe in divine law."

The results of Janie's upbringing bring into sharp relief the difference between secular and religious conservatism. Secular conservatism only frowns upon sexual promiscuity for social and health reasons; teaching a child that sex is forbidden because of some amorphous social good certainly carries less weight than a religious explanation.

While Janie is outgoing and friendly, she wonders whether life is meaningless. We've had long discussions about religion and God. While she believes in God, she doesn't believe in God-given rules for living. Her agnosticism often borders on depression.

Janie isn't unusual. A 2003 study by the Heritage Foundation linked early sexual activity with a higher suicide rate. The study reported that about 14 percent of girls aged 14 to 17 who have had intercourse have attempted suicide; 5 percent of sexually inactive girls have.

Janie believes she's taken the right path. "I believe that no matter what religious ideologies you plant into the mind of teenager, they're going to have sex. ... What you can do is tell them that getting pregnant or getting an STD is going to ruin their lives."

This contraceptive-based sex education is the solution proposed by the secular left, which created the problem of sexual libertinism in the first place. James Wagoner, president of Advocates for Youth, feels that "the stakes are simply too high to talk only about abstinence." But the question remains: Even if venereal disease and teen pregnancy are eradicated, will America's young people be able to recover from the loss of their innocence?


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: feminists; promiscuity; std; teens
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1 posted on 03/03/2004 12:15:49 PM PST by DemWatch
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To: DemWatch
Geez this is scary to a mom of six and four year old girls.
2 posted on 03/03/2004 12:23:24 PM PST by netmilsmom (Happy 4th Birthday to my baby!)
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To: DemWatch
For the age that the author's picture indicates him to be, he sure has a socially conservative viewpoint on sex and promiscuity.
3 posted on 03/03/2004 12:24:40 PM PST by The Grammarian
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To: DemWatch
Although I agree with the premise of the article, it seems focussed only on girls. This makes me suspicious of this particular writer's motives.
4 posted on 03/03/2004 12:25:11 PM PST by Lorianne
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To: DemWatch
I guess I believe more in the laws of human nature -- I'm not a hedonist -- but I believe in the laws of human nature more than I believe in divine law."

I can think of another famous couple that had a similar belief.

5 posted on 03/03/2004 12:28:42 PM PST by templar
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To: netmilsmom
How's the home-schooling going?
6 posted on 03/03/2004 12:28:56 PM PST by annyokie (There are two sides to every argument, but I'm too busy to listen to yours.)
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To: DemWatch
While Janie is outgoing and friendly, she wonders whether life is meaningless.

Plenty of young people who are not having sex wonder the same thing.

This article is almost devoid of rational argument. Janie seems like a very normal modern woman who has not been significantly harmed by her experience.

I'm not saying I approve, just that Janie's story is not very compelling, and the author could have done much better if his intent is to persuade young people to remain chaste.

-ccm

7 posted on 03/03/2004 12:29:49 PM PST by ccmay
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To: netmilsmom
Being a parent is scary. I've been lucky. My kids reached adulthood without embarrassing me.

The only advice I have is to lead by example. Your kids will eventually go their own way, but they will always carry your presence with them, long after they have forgotten your words. When they are away from home they may not pay attention to your warnings, but they will think about what you would do.
8 posted on 03/03/2004 12:30:58 PM PST by js1138
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To: netmilsmom
Geez this is scary to a mom of six and four year old girls.

And the kicker to me is that the guvmint extracts money from us to promote
"responsible" sex for underage kids.
Without telling them that condoms are NOT perfect preventors of STDs.
9 posted on 03/03/2004 12:33:05 PM PST by VOA
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To: ccmay
This article is almost devoid of rational argument. Janie seems like a very normal modern woman who has not been significantly harmed by her experience.

I think that's the point of the article--not to scare and not to argue, just to paint an honest picture of what meaningless sex really looks like in the context of a life that is generally without meaning. As you say, it's all "very normal" these days. But there is still an alternative.

10 posted on 03/03/2004 12:37:32 PM PST by madprof98
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To: js1138
While Janie is outgoing and friendly, she wonders whether life is meaningless. We've had long discussions about religion and God. While she believes in God, she doesn't believe in God-given rules for living. Her agnosticism often borders on depression.

I see the same attitude - and morose apathy - among many of the college kids in my town, and I owe much of it to their being raised by parents who didn't encourage religious and moral development, who didn't teach right and wrong nor, like you said, did they lead by example.

11 posted on 03/03/2004 12:38:01 PM PST by mountaineer
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To: DemWatch
Janie became sexually active at age 15 (she's now 21) and has slept with five men.



I'm 47 and I have only slept with five men my entire life.
12 posted on 03/03/2004 12:40:08 PM PST by Auntbee
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To: Auntbee; Texaggie79
I'm 47 and I have only slept with five men my entire life.

I wonder how old Raimondo is...

13 posted on 03/03/2004 12:42:47 PM PST by BrooklynGOP (www.logicandsanity.com)
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To: mountaineer
If you don't live it, it makes little difference what you say. Some of the tiniest examples make an impression on kids, like giving back excess change at the store counter. They remember that long after they have forgotten a sermon on the same subject. At least I did.
14 posted on 03/03/2004 12:43:13 PM PST by js1138
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To: DemWatch
When asked if she would sleep with someone she didn't love, Janie replies "Never, ever ...

What's the difference? those are just meaningless words to convince yourself you aren't a whore.

15 posted on 03/03/2004 12:47:43 PM PST by hopespringseternal
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To: js1138
I agree wholeheartedly, and probably should have made it clear in my previous post - leading by example makes so much greater an impression on children than anything you can say to them, and the area of sexual morality is no exception.
16 posted on 03/03/2004 12:58:33 PM PST by mountaineer
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To: mountaineer
Yes, but the absence of misbehavior is harder to demonstrate than the presence of love. And by the time kids are old enough to have sex, your time for teaching is almost gone.
17 posted on 03/03/2004 1:01:31 PM PST by js1138
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To: DemWatch
Janie isn't unusual. A 2003 study by the Heritage Foundation linked early sexual activity with a higher suicide rate. The study reported that about 14 percent of girls aged 14 to 17 who have had intercourse have attempted suicide; 5 percent of sexually inactive girls have.

Those numbers are a lot higher than I would have guess. 14% have attempted suicide????

18 posted on 03/03/2004 1:02:32 PM PST by Always Right
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To: DemWatch
"I can tell if he means it," Janie says. "I've had guys say they loved me before, but I know they don't mean it. It's intuition."

Young, ignorant Janie.

19 posted on 03/03/2004 1:05:41 PM PST by judgeandjury
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To: netmilsmom
Don't worry. I'm a 24 year old guy, and even with tattoos, a burly beard, playing in a rock band, and staying out partying all night long, my friends and I know what are the best decisions for us in the long term: we're not out sleeping around.

In fact it kind of sucks because we all want girlfriends and etc, but all the girls we seem to meet are trashy, not to mention unintelligent and dull. I might settle for kind of dumb if she wasn't trashy. Sad I would even say that!

I think we're the only rockers who wrote a song called "Rise Of The Demimonde"

There are still a few old-fashioned guys out there! I just hope there are still a few old-fashioned girls left for us!
20 posted on 03/03/2004 1:16:37 PM PST by bc2 (http://thinkforyourself.us)
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